STORMY FOSTER RETURNS: Chapter Eight
POP CULTURE CANTINA
presents
A MARVELOUS LIE PRODUCTION
A MOCK SCREENPLAY
in sixteen chapters
STORMY FOSTER
RETURNS
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CHAPTER EIGHT:
"LOVE MINUS ZERO"
THE YEAR 2051
DUKE'S WAIKIKI,
HONOLULU, HAWAII
STORMY FOSTER WAS MY
GREAT-GRANDFATHER.
AND MY NATIVE HAWAIIAN FAMILY KNOWS THAT THE INCREDIBLE STORIES ABOUT HIM ARE TRUE!
I REMEMBER AS A CHILD, GATHERING WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AT TUTU IRENE'S HOUSE ON THE BIG ISLAND. SHE'D HAVE HER COOK SUZANNE PREPARE DELICIOUS LOCO MOCO FOR US. AS WE ATE, TUTU WOULD SHOW US PICTURES OF NIRMAHL BEN-ABSALOM, OUR GREAT GRANDFATHER. SHE'D TELL US ABOUT HOW HE COULD SAIL THROUGH THE AIR AND COMMAND THE NATURAL ELEMENTS! OUR KAPUNA KUAKAHI WAS THE VERY FIRST SUPER HERO, AND HE CAME FROM A MYSTICAL PLACE CALLED PAJARO ISLAND.
HE WAS ALSO AN EXCELLENT SINGER AND DANCER. PERFORMING UNDER THE NAME STORMY FOSTER, HE WAS THE STAR OF TUTU'S FAMOUS HAWAIIAN NIGHTCLUB, THE CHINA-BAHAMA. I MEAN, WHAT ELSE WOULD A SUPER HERO DO IN HIS OFF HOURS BUT APPEAR IN FANCY FLOOR SHOWS WITH ACROBATS, COMEDIANS, A LATIN BIG BAND AND A DOZEN TOPLESS DANCING GIRLS?
HOW I LOVED TO THUMB THROUGH TUTU'S OLD NIGHTCLUB PROGRAMS FILLED WITH VINTAGE PHOTOGRAPHS OF KAPUNA STORMY. I ALSO LOVED TO PLAY HER 78 RPM RECORDINGS OF HIM SINGING SPICY DANCE NUMBERS LIKE "LOVE RUSH" AND SWEET BALLADS LIKE "YOU'RE MINE FOREVER." THAT'S WHAT KINDLED MY OWN INTEREST IN MUSIC AND PERFORMANCE.
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HONOLULU'S
CLUB CHINA-BAHAMA,
CIRCA 1943
LATER, I LEARNED ABOUT STORMY'S COURAGEOUS ADVOCACY FOR THE MAHU DURING WORLD WAR II, AND HIS LEGENDARY RADIO BROADCASTS ORIGINATING FROM MY LATE UNCLE FREDDY'S OFFICE. THAT LITTLE BUILDING IN THE CHINATOWN ARTS DISTRICT LOOMS LARGE IN OUR FAMILY HISTORY - IT'S STILL KNOWN AS BABY GRAND RECORDING SERVICES. UNCLE FREDDY SOLD IT YEARS AGO, BUT THE STUDIO IS STILL OPERATING. IN FACT, IT'S BECOME WORLD-FAMOUS UNDER THE OWNERSHIP OF KRISTIN GORRIE - LOTS OF FAMOUS ARTISTS HAVE TRACKED MUSIC THERE.
I WAS ALWAYS FASCINATED BY THE PLACE, AND STARTED GOING DOWN THERE AS A TEENAGER. KRIS LET ME HANG AROUND AND DO LITTLE JOBS FOR HER. I WAS OBSERVING AND LEARNING, AND EVENTUALLY SHE HIRED ME AS HER ASSISTANT.
ALL THE WHILE, I WAS STUDYING MUSIC THEORY, TAKING VOICE LESSONS AND LEARNING TO PLAY JAZZ PIANO. I PUT TOGETHER A LITTLE JAZZ BAND AND ASKED KRIS TO CHECK US OUT. SHE WAS SO IMPRESSED THAT WHEN SAMARA JOY CAME TO TOWN AND WANTED TO CUT SOME DEMOS, SHE HIRED US TO ACCOMPANY HER. THAT'S HOW I BECAME A STUDIO MUSICIAN!
SO, I'VE BEEN WORKING AT BABY GRAND STUDIOS FOR 25 YEARS NOW. THAT JOB HAS LASTED THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE GRADUATION, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE, THE BIRTH OF TWO CHILDREN AND A CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED FUSION JAZZ ALBUM WITH MY BAND, MING DYNASTY - BUT THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME FOR MS. SONSERI WONG TO MOVE ON! I WANT TO GO OUT ON MY OWN AS A SOLO ARTIST, SOMETHING MY EX-HUSBAND D'ANGELO ALWAYS ENCOURAGED ME TO DO.
I'VE PLAYED ALL KINDS OF MUSIC AS A SESSION PLAYER - EVERYTHING FROM SALSA TO ROCK TO REGGAE - BUT FOLK AND COUNTRY SONGS GIVE ME THE MOST PLEASURE. I WAS TRAINED AS A JAZZ MUSICIAN AND I DO LOVE THAT STYLE; BUT COUNTRY MUSIC SPEAKS TO MY SOUL IN A WHOLE OTHER WAY. FOR MONTHS, I'VE BEEN SITTING IN WITH MAOLI AND OTHER HAWAIIAN COUNTRY MUSICIANS, AND I FEEL A SEA CHANGE HAPPENING ON AN ARTISTIC LEVEL. I'M GOING TO GO WHERE MY MUSE WANTS TO TAKE ME.
KRIS HAS CONTACTS IN NASHVILLE, AND WITH HER BLESSING I'M MOVING DOWN THERE TO PURSUE A CAREER AS A COUNTRY SINGER. IT'S A BIG GAMBLE BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR: THERE'S AN EXCELLENT CHANCE THAT THE ARCHIES WILL BACK ME UP ON MY DÉBUT ALBUM!
I'VE WORKED ON SEVERAL OF THEIR SESSIONS, AND THEY WANT TO RETURN THE FAVOR. I'M TOTALLY JAZZED ABOUT IT! THEY JUST FINISHED RECORDING A COUNTRY ALBUM OF THEIR OWN THAT THEY LET ME PREVIEW, AND IT HAS EXACTLY THE KIND OF VINTAGE NASHVILLE SOUND THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET INSIDE A STUDIO WITH THEM AGAIN!
WARTIME MEMORIES OF
STORMY FOSTER
AS I WRAPPED UP MY WORK AT BABY GRAND, I FELT VERY SENTIMENTAL AND NOSTALGIC. I FOUND MYSELF CLIMBING THE STAIRS TO THE SMALL TOP FLOOR SOUNDSTAGE WHERE MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER MADE HIS SECRET RADIO TRANSMISSIONS. FOR HISTORICAL PURPOSES, KRISTIN CHOSE TO KEEP IT EXACTLY THE SAME AS IT WAS WHEN HER FATHER PURCHASED IT. IT'S HARDLY EVER USED ANYMORE BUT I'VE VENTURED UP THERE MANY TIMES. I LIKED TO IMAGINE WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN UNCLE FREDDY, TUTU IRENE, MY LATE GREAT-STEP-GRANDPA BASIL SINGAPORE AND STORMY WERE ON THE AIR.
THAT LAST TIME I WENT UP THERE, I SAW THAT SOMEONE HAD RIGGED UP AN OLD-FASHIONED FILM PROJECTOR, DROP-DOWN SCREEN AND FILM REEL. KRISTIN LATER TOLD ME SHE HAD NO IDEA WHO'D DONE IT.
I TURNED THE PROJECTOR ON AND WAS DELIGHTED TO SEE CRYSTAL-CLEAR COLOR PICTURES FROM A CENTURY AGO: STORMY FOSTER AND HIS GROUP THE RHUMBA CHILDREN, PERFORMING SONGS FROM THEIR NIGHTCLUB ACT! THIS UNDOUBTEDLY WAS THE EXPERIMENTAL "SOUNDIE" MUSIC VIDEO THAT TUTU HAD TOLD ME ABOUT; SHE AND MY GREAT UNCLE STAGED AND DIRECTED IT TOGETHER.
THE VIDEO WAS ON SOME KIND OF COMPILATION REEL, SO THERE WAS ALSO FOOTAGE OF STORMY IN THE RECORDING STUDIO, STORMY DOING CALISTHENICS IN A GYM, AND STORMY PLAYING DRUMS WITH BASIL. I NEVER IMAGINED SEEING THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER! I WAS STRUCK BY HOW CLOSE THEY'D OBVIOUSLY BEEN. YOU COULD SEE IT WHEN THEY LOOKED INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES.
OF COURSE, I KNEW THAT THEY WERE LOVERS EVEN THOUGH STORMY WAS ENGAGED TO MARRY TUTU WHEN HE DIED. HAVING GAY GREAT-GRANDPARENTS SEEMED PERFECTLY NATURAL TO ALL OF US KIDS! WE NEVER THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT IT - BUT THAT DAY I WONDERED HOW LIFE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IF STORMY HAD MARRIED BASIL INSTEAD? THAT WASN'T EVEN POSSIBLE IN THOSE DAYS. I GOT VERY EMOTIONAL THINKING ABOUT IT!
LIKE I SAID, THE FOOTAGE WAS OVER 100 YEARS OLD BUT THE FILM LOOKED LIKE IT HADN'T AGED AT ALL. I WAS MESMERIZED BY THE SCENES PLAYING OUT ON THE SCREEN. I REWOUND THE REEL AND PLAYED IT OVER AND OVER! I STAYED THERE WATCHING IT EARLY INTO THE NEXT MORNING AND AT SOME POINT, I FELL ASLEEP.
THE FILM REEL RAN OUT AND I WOKE TO THE SOUND OF CELLULOID SLAPPING AGAINST THE CARRIAGE. AS I TURNED OFF THE PROJECTOR, I LOOKED DOWN AND SAW SOMETHING ON THE TABLE THAT I SWEAR HADN'T BEEN THERE BEFORE. IT WAS A STACK OF SHEET MUSIC - NOT DECADES OLD, BUT BRAND NEW! AS I PICKED UP THE SHEETS, I GASPED: THE PAGES WERE WARM TO THE TOUCH, AS IF THEY'D JUST BEEN PRINTED!
THE SONGS WERE MOSTLY BALLADS, AND I RECOGNIZED SOME OF THE TITLES: "MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF." "EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN." "MY SHIP IS COMING IN." "THE SUN AIN'T GONNA SHINE ANYMORE." IT WAS THE KIND OF MUSIC THAT I LOVE TO SING!
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PROMO FOR THE ALBUMS
WAHINE COUNTRY, VOLs I + II
BY SONSERI W/THE ARCHIES
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STACK WAS A NUMBER CALLED "LOVE MINUS ZERO" WRITTEN BY BOB DYLAN. IT HAD TWO AUTOGRAPHS SCRAWLED ACROSS THE COVER. AS I LOOKED CLOSER, THE UNMISTAKABLE SCENT OF SANDALWOOD ROSE OFF THE PAPER. TEARS IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO ROLL DOWN MY CHEEKS!
I SAW THE SIGNATURES OF BOTH OF MY GREAT-GRANDATHERS - NA KAPUNA STORMY FOSTER AND BASIL SINGAPORE - AND THERE WAS AN INSCRIPTION UNDERNEATH: "I KA SONSERI KUU ALOHA". IT MEANS "TO SONSERI WITH LOVE".
KRISTIN GORRIE THINKS I'M SUPERSTITIOUS AND SILLY. "SURE AND SOMEBODY ON MY STAFF LEFT THAT SHEET MUSIC UPSTAIRS," SHE TOLD ME, "AND THAT SCRIBBLED MESSAGE, ME DARLIN', MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY'S IDEA OF A JOKE!" SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND, AND THERE'S NO USE TRYING TO EXPLAIN.
AT VARIOUS TIMES, I'VE FELT THE SPIRITUAL PRESENCE OF TUTU IRENE'S LATE HUSBAND - THE ONLY GREAT-GRANDFATHER I EVER KNEW. KUPUNA BASIL WAS IN MY LIFE FOR A VERY SHORT TIME - HE PASSED AWAY FROM AIDS-RELATED COMPLICATIONS BEFORE I REACHED MY TEENS. WE WERE VERY CLOSE, THOUGH. I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW WE USED TO SING AND PLAY MUSIC TOGETHER! HOW COULD I? HE SHOWED ME MY FIRST CHORDS ON THE PIANO.
BASIL RECOGNIZED MY MUSICAL TALENT EARLY ON AND WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO NURTURE IT. WHEREVER HE IS NOW, HE'S STILL PLAYING THAT ROLE - AND MY BIOLOGICAL GREAT-GRANDPA STORMY FOSTER IS SUPPORTING ME, TOO! FORGIVE ME, I'M GOING TO START CRYING AGAIN.
THE GIFT OF SHEET MUSIC WAS THEIR BLESSING TO ME, SPEEDING ME TOWARD MY NEW CAREER - AND AFTER BEING SO BLESSED, ANY FEAR THAT I MAY HAVE HAD IS GONE. I KNOW I'M GOING TO SUCCEED IN NASHVILLE - WITH THEIR SPIRITS GUIDING ME, THERE'S NO WAY THAT I CAN FAIL!
NOBODY WILL EVER CONVINCE ME THAT MY BELOVED ANCESTORS DIDN'T SUMMON ME TO THE TOP FLOOR OF BABY GRAND STUDIOS THAT EVENING. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M SO SURE, I'LL TELL YOU: IT WAS THE AROMA OF SANDALWOOD SOAP! KAPUNA BASIL ALWAYS BATHED WITH IT. SOMETIMES WHEN I'M ALONE IT WILL UNEXPECTEDLY SURROUND ME, LETTING ME KNOW THAT HIS BEAUTIFUL PRESENCE IS NEARBY - AND THAT MORNING IN THE UPPER ROOM, THE EXHILARATING SMELL OF SANDALWOOD WAS STRONGER AND SWEETER THAN I HAD EVER KNOWN BEFORE.
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