SABRINA THE SORCERESS:
“HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!” IT’S AN OLD SEXIST TROPE; YET THERE ARE WOMEN WHO MAKE THE CLAIM CREDIBLE. I KNOW BECAUSE, DEEP DOWN, I AM SUCH A WOMAN: ONE FOR WHOM OTHER HUMAN BEINGS CAN BE MERE MEANS TO AN END! WHEN A VIXEN FAILS TO GET HER WAY, THOSE WHO REFUSE TO DO HER BIDDING MUST BEWARE! SHE WILL SURELY RETALIATE, AND DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH POWER IS @ HER COMMAND, HER VENGEANCE WILL EITHER FALTER LIKE A BROKEN GRENADE TRIGGER, OR IT WILL SET OFF A MASSIVE EXPLOSION THAT RESULTS IN . . .
THE BIG HURT
A SEQUEL TO “THE FREAKING OUT
OF GERALDINE GRUNDY”
CHAPTER FIVE:
“GEMINI”
THE TIME: SEPTEMBER 1916
THE PLACE: BARCELONA, SPAIN
THE NARRATOR: EL NINJA
SINCE TOBY MAXX WAS OF PRUSSIAN HERITAGE, CARMEN SERNA EXPECTED HIM TO RECOIL FROM A NATIVE AMERICAN IN DISGUST! MANY GERMANS IN THAT ERA HARBORED RACIAL PREJUDICE, BUT I’M PROUD TO SAY THAT HE WASN’T ONE OF THEM. HER REVELATION ABOUT MY CHEROKEE BLOOD DIDN’T AFFECT MY PARTNER THE WAY SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD; ON THE CONTRARY, HE COULD BARELY CONTAIN HIS RAGE!
“DO YOU THINK I CARE WHAT A MAN’S BACKGROUND IS?,” HE GROWLED. “WHAT A DISGUSTING LITTLE PERRA YOU ARE. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!” WITH A CRY OF FURY, LA CUCHILLA LEAPT @ HIM, CLAWING @ HIS FACE! HER PIMP RESTRAINED HER, BUT NOT BEFORE SHE SHOOK HER FIST @ US AND SCREAMED: “HIJOS DE LA PUTA GRANDÍSIMA! “YOU’LL BE SORRY!” SECURITY GUARDS PROMPTLY USHERED CARMEN FROM THE BACKSTAGE AREA.
JUST AS SHE’D HAD ME BLACKBALLED IN 1915, SHE MADE GOOD ON HER SECOND THREAT. GOSSIP TRAVELS FAST IN SPAIN, AND EVEN IN THE 1910s, THERE WERE SCANDAL SHEETS. THEY RENAMED ME “GERONIMO” AND RAN CRUDE CARICATURES THAT DEPICTED A TOMAHAWK-THROWING “INDIAN” RAIDER COVERED IN WAR PAINT. I BECAME A REGULAR TARGET OF PUBLIC RIDICULE! RAM SHARMA WAS SO ANGRY @ MALACHI HIPP FOR DIVULGING MY SECRET, HE FIRED MAL FROM THE SHARMANTE QUARTET. IN MY OPINION, HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT LONG AGO!
WHEN TOTO + NINJA SECURED AN ENGAGEMENT @ THE FAMOUS TEATRO DE LA CRUZ, WE FOUND THAT THE RUMORS HAD FOLLOWED US ALL THE WAY TO MADRID. THERE WERE HECKLERS IN THE AUDIENCE WITH FEATHERS IN THEIR HAIR! A BIG FAT MAN PUFFED ON A LONG CIGARRO AND LOUDLY PROCLAIMED THAT HE WAS MAKING "INDIAN SMOKE SIGNALS"! THE SITUATION WAS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL, AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DANTE URGED ME TO TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS! “THIS IS SPAIN, NOT THE UNITED STATES,” HE REMINDED ME. “THE CONDITIONS FOR PEOPLE LIKE US AREN’T PERFECT, BUT IT’S MUCH BETTER HERE. BE SMART AND USE BEING CHEROKEE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! CONTINUING TO HIDE THE TRUTH DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE NOW." I HAD TO AGREE: MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS!
AFTER TALKING IT OVER WITH TOBY, HE AND I RESOLVED TO DO SOMETHING UNUSUAL @ OUR NEXT TEATRO PERFORMANCE. WE DIDN’T TELL THE COMPÈRE WHAT WE HAD PLANNED! AFTER OUR FIRST NUMBER, WHICH HECKLERS CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED, TOBY + NINJA STOPPED THE SHOW AND HELD WHAT AMOUNTED TO A PRESS CONFERENCE.
WE CONFIRMED THAT THE RUMORS WERE TRUE, BUT DEBUNKED THE NOTION THAT I WAS A SAVAGE. TOBY TOOK THE LEAD ON THIS. “NINJA IS FAR MORE CIVILIZED THAN THE BRATS I ATTENDED BOARDING SCHOOL WITH IN LINDENBERG!”, HE WISECRACKED. THIS BROUGHT PEALS OF LAUGHTER, WHICH LIGHTENED THE MOOD.
THEN I STEPPED FORWARD AND APOLOGIZED FOR DECEIVING MY FANS. BARING MY SOUL TO THEM, I EXPLAINED WHY I FEARED OSTRACISM: "IT'S VERY HARD BEING A STRANGER IN A NEW LAND. YOU DESPERATELY WANT TO FIT IN! WANTING SO MUCH TO BECOME ONE OF YOU - LA BELLA GENTE CASTELLANA - I WENT TOO FAR. PLEASE FORGIVE ME."
SUDDENLY THE MUSIC SWELLED, AND WE DANCED BALLETIC FLAMENCO TO A LANGOROUS CANCIÓN CALLED "TODO LO QUE POSEO (THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING)". THE HYPNOTIC DÉCIMAS OF THIS SPANISH BALLAD ENRAPTURED THE CROWD! THEN WE KNEW IT WAS TIME FOR THE SECOND PART OF OUR "PRESS CONFERENCE". I ANNOUNCED THAT WE WERE CHANGING THE NAME OF OUR ACT. “WE WILL BE CALLED ‘GEMINI’,” I DECLARED, “BECAUSE TOTO + I ARE LIKE TWIN BROTHERS. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT I AM DARK AND HE IS LIGHT.”
TOBY CLASPED MY HANDS IN BOTH OF HIS AND SAID: “GOING FORWARD, WE WILL USE OUR PERFORMANCES TO EMPHASIZE THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN! IT’S WHAT WE ALL NEED REMINDING OF DURING THIS TIME OF INTERNATIONAL CONFLICT. WE’LL PERFORM IN COSTUMES THAT CELEBRATE OUR PERSONAL HERITAGES AS WELL AS ETHNICITIES AROUND THE WORLD.” HIS HEARTFELT WORDS WERE GREETED WITH HEARTY APPLAUSE! THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF OUR TRANSFORMATION INTO A FOLKLORIC DANCE DUO.
GEMINI PERFORMS A SHARMANTE SONG
@ TEATRO DE LA CRUZ.
DANTE WAS THE ONE WHO HAD THE VISION OF WHAT GEMINI COULD BE. UNDER HIS SUPERVISION, WE REVAMPED OUR ACT WITH DANCES AND COSTUMES INSPIRED BY MANY CULTURES: JAPANESE, THAI, GERMAN, WEST AFRICAN AND NATIVE-AMERICAN, AMONG OTHERS. ALTHOUGH WE RESEARCHED THESE CULTURES, OUR PRESENTATIONS WERE NOT NECESSARILY AUTHENTIC. THE SONGS AND DANCES HAD TO BE PROVOCATIVE AND THE COSTUMES, REVEALING. IF THEY WEREN’T, THEN WE MADE THEM SO! OUR MUSCULAR BODIES WERE AN ESSENTIAL PART OF OUR APPEAL.
HOWEVER, WE KEPT OUR BASIC BLEND OF FLAMENCO AND WRESTLING THAT WE WERE FAMOUS FOR, AND WE CONTINUED PERFORMING TO MUSIC PROVIDED BY SHARMANTE. TWO SPECIALTY NUMBERS THAT THEY COMPOSED FOR US, “HASTA LA VISTA (SO LONG, BABY)” - PRIVATELY DEDICATED TO CARMEN SERNA - AND “DEBES SER TÚ (BABY, IT’S YOU)” WENT DOWN A STORM WITH AUDIENCES!
RE-INVENTING OURSELVES WAS JUST WHAT WE NEEDED TO TAKE OUR SUCCESS TO THE NEXT LEVEL. NATURALLY, DANTE BECAME OUR OWN PERSONAL IMPRESARIO; FIRST AS MY VALET AND THEN MY MANAGER, HE DIDN'T HESITATE TO TAKE CHARGE OF THINGS. WHAT'S MORE, HE WAS A NATURAL @ DEVISING NEW WAYS TO GENERATE EXCITEMENT ON STAGE; AND WHEN I PUBLICLY ACKNOWLEDGED HIM AS MY BROTHER, HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE! WE BECAME CLOSER THAN EVER.
TOBY MAXX AND I GREW CLOSER, TOO; CARMEN’S ATTEMPT TO SEPARATE US FAILED COMPLETELY! ON OUR LAST NIGHT PERFORMING @ THE TEATRO DE LA CRUZ, WE MADE LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
ACTUALLY, WE HAD A DRUNKEN MÉNAGE À TROIS WITH RAM SHARMA, BUT WE BARELY PAID ATTENTION TO HIM! HE ROSE FROM THE BED IN FRUSTRATION AND SAID: “SEÑORES, THIS PLAZA DE TOROS HAS TOO MANY BULLS IN IT. I BID YOU ADIÓS!” AFTER HE WAS GONE, WE ABSOLUTELY DEVOURED EACH OTHER. ¡DIOS MÍO! IT WAS FANTASTIC!
TOBY + I FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE, BUT NOBODY KNEW EXCEPT RAM AND MY BROTHER. IN EUROPE, MALE ROMANTIC PAIRS WEREN’T UNHEARD OF IN 1916, BUT THEY WERE SHUNNED - BY THE CHURCH, THE FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES. HOMOSEXUAL INTIMACY WAS CRIMINALIZED IN PARTS OF THE CONTINENT, INCLUDING SPAIN. NEITHER OF US WOULD HAVE DREAMED OF PUBLICIZING OUR TRUE RELATIONSHIP, SO WE DID WHAT “NORMAL” MEN DID AND COURTED WOMEN.
BOTH OF US WERE CAPABLE OF LOVING BOTH SEXES, SO THE ATTRACTION WAS NEVER FAKE. TOBY HAD A LONGTIME AFFAIR GOING WITH GARCY, OF COURSE, AND I MET AN ENCHANTING GYPSY DANCER WHO CALLED HERSELF CLEO. ALTHOUGH SHE WAS MUCH OLDER THAN ME, CLEO AWAKENED FEELINGS I HADN’T KNOWN SINCE MY BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH SVETLANA. I TRULY LOVED HER, EVEN THOUGH MY PASSION FOR TOBY WAS MUCH STRONGER.
TOTO + NINJA'S LOVE SUPREME.
I PROPOSED MARRIAGE TO CLEO, BUT BEFORE WE WED I FELT STRONGLY THAT I HAD TO CONTACT SISTER ISABELLE. I STILL DREAMT ABOUT HER PERIODICALLY, AND I LONGED TO HAVE HER BLESS MY NUPTIALS IN WRITING. I SENT NUMEROUS INQUIRIES ABOUT SVETLANA BACK TO OKLAHOMA. FINALLY IN EARLY 1917, I RECEIVED SHOCKING NEWS: SHE HAD ACCIDENTALLY FALLEN FROM HER HAYLOFT AND BROKEN HER NECK! DEATH HAD COME JUST A FEW HOURS LATER. IT HAPPENED MERE WEEKS AFTER I LEFT ON MY JOURNEY TO THE EAST COAST!
THE NIGHT I FOUND OUT ABOUT SISTER ISABELLE’S DEATH, I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP; BUT AS IT HAD SO OFTEN BEFORE, HER SPIRIT CAME TO ME IN MY SLUMBERS. SVETLANA TOLD ME NOT TO GRIEVE BECAUSE NOW SHE WAS “HAPPY WITH THE LORD”. THEN SHE PREDICTED A TRIP ACROSS THE PYRENÉES MOUNTAINS FOR ME, AND MUCH SUCCESS IN FRANCE!
HOWEVER, SHE ALSO WARNED OF DANGER AND IMPENDING TRAGEDY. “YOU HAVE NOT YET BEEN PUNISHED FOR DEFILING A BRIDE OF CHRIST,” SHE DECLARED. “PUNISHMENT WILL SOON COME! EVEN YOUR LOVED ONES MAY BE HARMED; BEWARE OF A HOODED STRANGER.”
THE NEXT DAY, TOBY CAME TO ME IN AN AGITATED STATE: A CLOAKED FIGURE HAD CORNERED HIM IN AN ALLEY AND TRIED TO SLIT HIS THROAT! HIS LIMBER, DANCE-TRAINED BODY HAD FACILITATED HIS ESCAPE FROM A GRISLY DEATH. AS IF TO PROTECT HIM AFTER THE FACT, I FLUNG A SERAPE AROUND TOTO AND HELD HIM IN MY ARMS; MY WHOLE BODY TREMBLED WITH DREAD! COULD THIS BE MORE OF LA CUCHILLA’S MURDEROUS HANDIWORK?
THAT INCIDENT AND MY GUARDIAN ANGEL’S WARNING DECIDED ME ON A COURSE OF ACTION; DANTE, TOBY + I HAD BEEN DISCUSSING IT SINCE THE END OF 1916. WE PLANNED TO OPEN A NIGHTCLUB OF OUR OWN! IT WAS TO BE LOCATED ON THE FRENCH RIVIERA, AND @ MY INSISTENCE, WE WOULD CALL IT “CABARET ISABELLE”.
NATURALLY, THE CLUB WOULD FEATURE TOTO + NINJA AS THE STAR ATTRACTION ALONG WITH MY SOON-TO-BE WIFE CLEO AND A SOLO DONNA DANTE. AFTER FIRING MALACHI HIPP, RAM SHARMA HAD DISSOLVED THE SHARMANTE QUARTET IN ORDER TO FOCUS ON PROMOTING DONNA AS A SINGER.
ALL DURING THE FIRST HALF OF 1917, WE COMMUTED BETWEEN SPAIN AND FRANCE’S BLUE COAST; POOLING OUR SAVINGS, WE SECURED AN ABANDONED SHAMBLE OF A CHURCH THAT WAS SITUATED NEAR THE BEACH. DANTE KNEW WHAT I WANTED, AND HE SUPERVISED THE RENOVATION. WE BROKE THE EXCITING NEWS TO OUR FANS @ A SHOW IN JULY.
TOBY, GARCY, RAM, DONNA + I HAD ALREADY APPLIED FOR FRENCH CITIZENSHIP, AND WE ALL EMIGRATED THAT AUGUST. WE COULD NEVER HAVE ANTICIPATED WHAT HAPPENED AFTER TOBY’S APPLICATION WAS APPROVED: HE WAS DRAFTED INTO THE FRENCH ARMY!
END OF CHAPTER FIVE
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"LA MORT ROUGE"