STORMY FOSTER RETURNS: Prologue
I began writing STORMY FOSTER RETURNS as a sequel to my 2021 superhero fantasy THE FILE ON STORMY FOSTER, but in the process of crafting the plot, it became something very different. While it isn't wrong to think of this new graphic novel as a sequel, it's more accurate to call it something else: The culmination of unrelated storylines that I've been working on for ten years! Imagine my surprise when I realized that those stories weren't unrelated; all of them were linked, and among those links I could detect a hidden narrative. My challenge was to make the links explicit, excavate that narrative and make it engaging. You will be the judge of whether or not I met that challenge when you read STORMY FOSTER RETURNS.
CONCEPT AND TEXT BY HAMPTON JACOBS, inspired by the music of THE WALKER BROTHERS. ILLUSTRATIONS BY STUFFED ANIMAL, inspired by the artwork of TRINA ROBBINS. COSTUMES BY HENRIETTA LA DEL BARRIO, inspired by BOYD CLOPTON.
PROLOGUE: “DOIN’ THE JERK!” TIME + PLACE: THE YEAR 2047 @ BABY GRAND RECORDING SERVICES, HONOLULU, HAWAII.
THE ARCHIES @ WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO CIRCA 2057.
“That’s a take!” Kristin Gorrie announces. "Stop the tape." She directs her engineer to do an instant sound mix. As the playback pours out of the studio speakers, Kris closes her eyes and nods her head, enraptured by what she's hearing. “Fabulous singing, Dee Dee," she raves. "Sure and I’ve never heard ‘Danny Boy’ sung like that before!”
Donna Dante leans over her music stand and flashes a smile at the producer. “That's the Mississippi Delta way to sing it," she explains. "A little bit of my punk rock sensibility is in there, too; but if you think that was something, honey, wait along. I’m just getting started! That was me warming up to the song; let’s do a few more takes.”
Percussionist Mal Hypster laughs and lays down his drumsticks. “Dee Dee won’t stop until she feels like she’s singing 'Danny Boy' as good as Jackie Wilson did," he predicts. "He was the first artist to put a gospel feeling to that Irish standard, but he could sing it in the traditional way, too. That man had a versatile vocal talent and an incredible range! I bet Jackie could’ve sung Opera if he wanted to.”
Music director Lana Suzuki agrees, but with a caveat: “You mean he could’ve sung opera if he’d been allowed, back in those days of open racial segregation. The man wasn't just a phenomenal vocalist; he was a pip of a dancer, too. Some of his hits are tailormade for shakin’ booty on stage the way we do, and we’ll be adding them to our live repertoire very soon. I’m so chuffed to be cutting a tribute album to Jackie Wilson! It’s long overdue.”
PROMO FOR THE 2047 ARCHIES ALBUM NEW JACK SWING.
“You know what else is overdue?” drawls keyboard player Rikki Ninja. “Updating those throwback 1940s arrangements that some of his early hits had! I mean, those charts were out-of-date even at the time. I never liked them very much, Susu, but I'm warming up to your suggestion that we preserve their swingtime flavor. We’re just going to swing his music our way! Tez, that baritone sax part sounds a little bit off to me. Tez? Tez! ¿Me escuchaste? Earth to space shuttle! Do you copy?”
Momentarily distracted, the handsome Dominican sax player chuckles. “Perdóneme, Ritchie. I wasn't concentrating the way I should; but you know, I get the strangest feelings sometimes.” Tossing back his waist-length raven hair, Javier Cortéz Quintanilla tries to explain: “It’s like, maybe I don’t belong in this place? No, that’s not it; more like I’m supposed to be somewhere else. Or maybe somebody else? ¡Coño! I’m getting things all mixed up. I don’t really know what I mean to say.”
This admission brings a hearty guffaw from Ninja. “That’s what you get for drinking Coquà this far out from the Christmas holidays!” he scolds. “Focus, amigo.” Susu nods. “We want to recapture some of the Soul magic that the old-school Archies found when they recorded here. Ninja’s right, by the way - that sax part does need fixing!”
SonSeri Wong, the second keyboard player on the date chimes in: "It needs doubling. What if I juxtapose a major chord? Listen - play it again, Tez." Susu likes what she's hearing and minutes later, the band is ready for another run-through. "Aren't you glad that SonSeri was available to sit in?" Kristin asks me. “Nobody can play keyboards like she does.” I smile and nod, but frankly I feel just as distracted as Tez, if not more. His momentary confusion has me lost in thought.
THE ARCHIES w/CARMEN SERNA CIRCA 2037.
Cortéz didn’t audition for the band like the other members did. I persuaded him to join when Carmen Serna, the original sixth member didn’t work out - her jive-ass diva behavior forced me to fire her! Afterwards, rather than hold new auditions I polled the others on who they thought should replace Carmen. El Diablo Quintanilla was their unanimous choice!
He'd sung and played on soundtrack sessions for the movie Say Goodbye to Riverdale, and since then he'd logged several dates with the group as a sideman. However, up to that point Tez had only ever been a studio musician; he didn’t know if he could adjust to touring, and he worried that his live performance chops weren’t up to par. We taped a live TV show in MedellÃn right after he joined, so it was sink-or-swim time for him!
JAVIER CORTÉZ QUINTANILLA JOINS THE ARCHIES!
Tez had a lot to learn about band dynamics, but he's a very fast learner; and there was never any reason to worry about him playing live. The man f*cking kills it on stage! Aware of his lingering insecurities, his bandmates and I are quick to brush aside any notion that he doesn’t belong - but for me, it’s complicated. I know that, in a very real sense, he doesn't.
In the place and time I just came from, this recording session never happened. We never cut a Jackie Wilson tribute album called NEW JACK SWING. We never worked with or even met Kristin Gorrie and SonSeri Wong; and Tez Quintanilla was never in the group! His spot was filled by somebody else. No one has thought to ask: Where is Toby Maxx, the band's founding sax player? And since when was Salsa star Carmen Serna ever in a Rock band? Nobody with half a brain would mistake her for a team player.
If you asked those questions of any of the musicians gathered in this room, they wouldn’t know how to answer. They wouldn’t have a clue what or who you were talking about! However, you and I know that Carmen wasn't the original sixth member and we know there was a different sax player, even though his bandmates can't remember him. It's a mystery and if you want to unravel it, you'd best be prepared to stay awhile. This is a tale that will take over a dozen people to tell!
I'm one of those people. My name is Bree Spellman, and eighty years ago, Carmen Serna murdered me; but not long ago, I rose from the dead.
Yes, it’s that kind of story.
