STORMY FOSTER RETURNS: Chapter Six

POP CULTURE CANTINA

presents

A MARVELOUS LIE PRODUCTION

A MOCK SCREENPLAY

in sixteen chapters

STORMY FOSTER

RETURNS

CHAPTER SIX:

"HURTING EACH OTHER"

THE YEAR 1988

HILO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,

HONOLULU, HAWAII

LATELY, I’VE BEEN CONSUMED BY THOUGHTS OF EVENTS FROM FOUR DECADES AGO: OF THE RAMPANT DEMONIZATON OF GAY HAWAIIANS THAT WENT ON FOR MANY MONTHS; OF ADOLPH HITLER’S FAILED PLOT TO TURN ALL HAWAII INTO A FIFTH COLUMN FOR HIS THIRD REICH; OF THE WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER OF MY PEOPLE THAT HE ORDERED; AND ESPECIALLY OF DIAMOND FAWS, THE PROFOUNDLY EVIL, CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL NAZI WHO WAS A CATALYST FOR THESE APPALLING EVENTS.

MY WIFE IRENE SCOLDED ME FOR DWELLING ON SUCH NEGATIVE MEMORIES, BUT FOR SOME REASON I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF: THE NAME “DIAMOND” JUST STUCK IN MY MIND, AND IT STILL DOES. I KNOW THAT IT WILL HAVE SIGNIFICANCE AGAIN, AND JUST LIKE BEFORE, NOT IN A GOOD WAY!

HOWEVER, ALL MY MEMORIES OF THOSE DAYS AREN’T NEGATIVE. HOW COULD THEY BE? THAT’S WHEN I KNEW THE MAN THAT THEY CALLED THE GREAT DEFENDER: NIRMAHL BEN-ABSALOM, MY KAUWANI BROTHER, MY STUDENT, MY WOULD-BE LOVER, MY COMRADE IN BATTLE AGAINST IGNORANCE AND BIGOTRY. MY HERO! NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON’T THINK ABOUT HIM.

MY NAME IS BASIL SINGAPORE.

THERE WERE BUT A HANDFUL OF PAJARO ISLAND SURVIVORS: MEN AND WOMEN WHO ESCAPED THE NAZI MASSACRE BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE MAINLAND WHEN IT HAPPENED. EXCEPT FOR ME, THEY ARE ALL GONE NOW.

THEY SAY THAT WHEN A PEOPLE DIES, THEIR GODS DIE WITH THEM BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE. MOTHER PENIS AND FATHER VAGINA WILL NOT ONLY LIVE AS LONG AS THERE IS BREATH WITHIN ME, BUT FOREVER AFTER! I ALWAYS KNEW THAT SOMEDAY, THE KAUWA DIETIES WOULD MAKE CONTACT AGAIN. I WAITED FOR THEM DECADE AFTER DECADE, EVEN AS MY MEMORIES OF THE SECRET MAHU REFUGE GREW DIMMER AND DIMMER.

THEN, FINALLY: TWO NIGHTS AGO I CLOSED MY EYES, AND WHILE WAITING FOR SLEEP TO COME I WAS SWEPT AWAY ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. I SAW MYSELF SEATED IN A ROYAL CANOE. I HAD NO PADDLE TO STEER BUT ALL AROUND ME OCEAN WATER WAS CHURNING AND RUSHING. THE CANOE WAS CARRYING ME TO A DESTINATION STRAIGHT AHEAD!

SUDDENLY, THE MASSIVE BIRD STATUARY OF PAJARO MOUNTAIN WAS IN VIEW. IN THE NEXT INSTANT, I HAD BEACHED ON THE ISLAND SHORE. I WAS HOME AGAIN!

HOWEVER, IT WASN’T THE HOME THAT I REMEMBERED. I SAW A VISION OF PAJARO ISLAND AS IT EXISTS NOW. IT LOOKS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE, WHICH WAS TO BE EXPECTED GIVEN WHAT HAPPENED IN MY ABSENCE; BUT I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE MEN WALKING AROUND. THE ISLAND IS STILL OCCUPIED!

BASIL SINGAPORE'S

FINAL SPIRIT DREAM

THE NAZI MURDERERS WHO WERE MAROONED THERE IN 1944 DIDN’T ALL DIE AS I PRAYED THAT THEY WOULD. A FEW DOZEN SURVIVORS DISCOVERED THE KAUWA MEDICINES THAT WE USED TO PROLONG LIFE. AMONG THE RUINS THAT THEY THEMSELVES CREATED, THEY HAD BUILT NEW COMMUNITIES AND WERE LIVING IN THEM.

IF YOU THINK THIS KNOWLEDGE PLEASED ME, YOU COULD NOT BE MORE MISTAKEN! THE SIGHT OF THOSE BUTCHERS WAS A DAMNED OUTRAGE; I CONSIDERED THEIR PRESENCE A DEFILEMENT OF OUR SACRED ISLE! HOWEVER, THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY THE WILL OF MOTHER PENIS AND FATHER VAGINA. IF THEY WEREN’T MEANT TO BE THERE, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN. SILENTLY, I PRAYED FOR ENLIGHTENMENT.

I SAW THAT THE GERMAN SOLDIERS HAD DIVIDED INTO TWO WARRING FACTIONS, WITH SETTLEMENTS ON EITHER SIDE OF PAJARO ISLAND. THE MAJORITY OF THEM WERE NO LONGER NAZIS: THEY HAD REFORMED, RENOUNCED HITLER'S DOCTRINE AND ADOPTED THE WAYS OF MY PEOPLE, THE KANAKA TANGA - IT WAS UNBELIEVEABLE! THEY EVEN DARED TO CALL THEMSELVES BY OUR ANCIENT NAME: KAUWA!

THESE CONVERTS WERE LED BY CHIZA, A MYSTERIOUS WISE MAN WHO HAD COME DOWN TO THEM FROM PAJARO MOUNTAIN. HE APPEARED SEVERAL YEARS AFTER THE MASSACRE, BRINGING WITH HIM HOLY TEXTS THAT HAD BEEN THOUGHT DESTROYED WHEN OUR TEMPLE WAS RANSACKED.

THE NAZI SOLDIERS SEIZED, BEAT AND IMPRISONED CHIZA; BUT THE MAKESHIFT JAIL THEY ERECTED COULDN'T HOLD HIM. HE ASTOUNDED THEM AGAIN AND AGAIN BY APPEARING OUTSIDE IT AT WILL! THE SOLDIERS FOUND THAT IT WAS IMPOSSIBE TO SUBDUE THIS WISE MAN, AND SOMEHOW THEY COULD NOT BRING THEMSELVES TO KILL HIM. AS HE WALKED FREELY AMONG THEM, THEY BEGAN LISTENING TO HIS COUNSEL.

PAJARO ISLAND, 1988

HE IS THE ONE WHO INSTRUCTED THEM IN THE USE OF ISLAND MEDICINES, THE CONSTRUCTION OF BLESSED ABODES AND HOW TO GROW CROPS FOR FOOD. OVER TIME, THEY RECOGNIZED HIM AS THEIR GURU, AND HE CONVERTED MOST OF THEM TO OUR ANCIENT BELIEFS! FOR BETTER OR WORSE, CHIZA WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BIRTH OF A NEW KAUWANI COMMUNITY.

PREDICTABLY, A MINORITY OF HARDCORE FASCISTS BROKE AWAY FROM THE CONVERTS. THEY BUILT AN EMCAMPMENT ON THE OPPOSITE COAST WHERE THEY PERSISTED IN HOLDING NAZI DRILLS AND PLEDGING ALLEGIANCE TO THE FÜHRER! THESE RENEGADES HAD NO DESIGNATED LEADER, BUT THEY DID HAVE GOALS: TO WIPE OUT THEIR FORMER COMRADES, WHOM THEY CONSIDERED TRAITORS; TO SOMEHOW ESCAPE FROM THE ISLAND; AND TO RETURN TO WHAT THEY IMAGINED WAS A VICTORIOUS HITLER RÉGIME RULING THE WORLD!

AFTER THIS UNREPENTANT FACTION KILLED ONE OF THE CONVERTS IN A RAID, THE NEW KAUWA TOOK UP ARMS IN ORDER TO DEFEND THEMSELVES - THIS WAS ALSO DONE UNDER CHIZA'S DIRECTION. FOR DECADES NOW, THE TWO SIDES HAD BATTLED EACH OTHER, INFLICTING MOSTLY MINOR CASUALTIES. THEN ONE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE, THREE STRANGERS APPEARED IN THE MIDST OF THE LOYALIST CAMP!

I SAW TWO WOMEN AND ONE MAN WALK INTO THE NAZI COMPOUND. THEY WERE SINGING A SONG THAT I RECOGNIZED AS THE LOATHSOME NAZI ANTHEM “DEUTSCHLAND ÜBER ALLES!” MUCH TO MY SHOCK, I RECOGNIZED THE LEAD SINGER: JOSIE JAMES, THE LEADER OF A FRENCH ROCK GROUP - AND A JEW!

THE OTHER TWO INTERLOPERS INTRODUCED THEMSELVES AS HUSBAND AND WIFE: TOBIAS MAXWELL AND EVANGELINE CHROME. WHEN THE TRIO STOPPED SINGING AND BEGAN SPEAKING, STILL IN GERMAN, THEY IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES AS “EVANGELISTS”. I DON'T SPEAK A WORD OF THAT ACCURSED LANGUAGE, BUT I COULD UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THEY WERE SAYING! YOU SEE, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH THE GODS.

VANGIE CHROME, TOBY MAXX +

JODY JAMES ON PAJARO ISLAND

WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY ASTOUNDED THE NAZIS. THE AXIS STORM TROOPERS STOOD TRANSFIXED AS, FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEY LEARNED OF ADOLPH HITLER’S DEFEAT! JOSIE, WHO CALLED HERSELF “JODY”, WENT ON TO CLAIM THAT THE WORLD HAD DETERIORATED BADLY SINCE THE ALLIED VICTORY. SHE TOLD THE FASCISTS THAT THEIR SERVICES WERE NOW DESPERATELY NEEDED, BUT FIRST THEY HAD TO BE "MADE READY." NOT UNTIL THEY’D BEEN “CLEANSED OF SEXUAL SIN” WOULD THEY BE FIT TO SERVE.

THEN EVANGELINE CHROME STEPPED FOWARD AND REVEALED HERSELF TO BE TRANSSEXUAL. HER HUSBAND HAD HIS OWN REVELATION. “ONCE I WAS A HOMOSEXUAL MAN,” HE DECLARED, “UNTIL I CAME TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE MEANING OF MASCULINITY." HE PROCEEDED TO PORTRAY PAST MALE LOVERS AS "PREDATORY PERVERTS" WHO DRAGGED HIM "KICKING AND SCREAMING TO THE GATES OF SODOM." IT WAS DETESTABLE!

"ALL OF YOU MUST SEE THE LIGHT AS WELL!" TOBIAS MAXWELL INSISTED. "ONLY SOME OF YOU ARE MEN. AT LEAST HALF OF YOU ARE ACTUALLY WOMEN, ASSIGNED THE WRONG SEX AT BIRTH.”

THE TRIO PRESENTED THE ASSEMBLED WAR CRIMINALS WITH ANOTHER INSANE PREMISE: THAT SOME OF THEM WERE NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE! “THAT’S THE CONDITION THAT I SUFFER FROM,” JOSIE JAMES CLAIMED. “IT RESULTS IN BISEXUALITY, A PRACTICE THAT IS ALSO SINFUL.”

AT THIS POINT, IT DAWNED ON THE MEN THAT THEY WERE BEING ACCUSED OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND THEY PROTESTED ANGRILY! JOSIE SILENCED THEIR FAUX OUTRAGE WITH A STERN RESPONSE: “DENIAL WON’T SAVE YOU. DO YOU REALLY THINK WE DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH? THAT IS WHAT BROUGHT US HERE.

"EVERY ONE OF YOU HAS COMMITED THE CRIME OF COUPLING WITH ANOTHER MALE! THE FIRST STEP TO REDEMPTION IS HONESTY. THE SECOND STEP IS ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR NEED FOR REPENTANCE. THE THIRD STEP IS REPENTANCE ITSELF; AND THE LAST IS GENDER AFFIRMATION.”

FOR MANY DAYS - I LOST TRACK OF JUST HOW MANY - THIS STRANGE TRIO “EVANGELIZED” AMONG THE NAZI HOLDOUTS. THE SCENES THAT THEIR ACCUSATIONS TRIGGERED RESEMBLED WORSHIP SERVICES AT A PENTACOSTAL CHURCH - THE UNLIKELY CONGREGATION WAS OVERCOME WITH EMOTION. MEN WERE SPEAKING "IN TONGUES", SCREAMING THEIR REPENTANCE AND CRYING OUT TO A HOMOPHOBE GOD FOR DELIVERANCE. "I AM A SON OF SODOM!" WAILED ONE PATHETIC WRETCH AFTER BEATING HIMSELF BLOODY WITH THE BUTT OF HIS OWN RIFLE. "OH, PLEASE, SAVE ME FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION!"

HOW IT TURNED MY STOMACH TO HEAR SUCH VILE BLASPHEMY TAUGHT IN THE SACRED REFUGE OF THE MAHU! IT CAME IN AN ENDLESS STREAM FROM THE MOUTHS OF THE MAXWELLS AND “JODY” JAMES.

“YOU MUST TRANSITION, FIRST SOCIALLY AND THEN MEDICALLY” THEY TOLD THEIR CONVERTS, “AND ONLY THEN WILL YOU BE FIT TO RECLAIM WHAT ADOLPH HITLER LOST.” THEY CONVERTED ALL BUT A HANDFUL OF TRAUMATIZED MEN, WHO RAN AWAY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND AND BECAME WILLING PRISONERS OF THE NEW KAUWA.

THE NAZIS NOW IDENTIFIED AS EITHER “AFFIRMED MALES”, “NON-BINARY” OR “TRANSWOMEN”. THE LATTER TWO GROUPS MODIFIED THEIR APPEARANCES TO REFLECT AMBIGUITY OF GENDER. THEY GREW THEIR HAIR LONG, WORE COCONUT BRAS AND CRUDELY SEWN SKIRTS, AND PAINTED THEIR FACES WITH GARISH PIGMENTS DERIVED FROM PAJARO ISLAND FRUITS, NUTS AND VEGETABLES.

DESPITE THESE ABSURD AFFECTATIONS, THEY WERE STILL VERY MUCH WARRIORS. UNDER THE SUPERVISION OF TOBIAS MAXWELL, THEY CAREFULLY MAPPED OUT AN INVASION PLAN AND STAGED A NEW RAID ON THE KAUWANI COMPOUND. CHIZA'S MEN WERE TAKEN OFF GUARD - CONFUSED BY THE STRANGE APPEARANCE OF THEIR ATTACKERS!

“CAPTURE BUT DO NOT KILL THEM”, TOBIAS INSTRUCTED. “THEIR CORRUPTED SOULS MAY YET BE SALVAGED! WE MUST SHOW THEM THE PATHWAY OUT OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.”

IT TOOK A WEEK OF INTENSE BATTLE TO ROUT THE KAUWANIS, BUT THEY WERE DECISIVELY DEFEATED AND CAPTURED. THE VICTORIOUS NAZIS STRIPPED THEM NAKED, BEAT THEM SAVAGELY, BOUND AND GAGGED THEM AND THEN MARCHED THEIR BRUISED AND BATTERED CAPTIVES IN SINGLE FILE TO THE BEACH. “NOW,” JOSIE JAMES ANNOUNCED, “THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO LEAVE THIS DEVIL’S OUTPOST.”

A MASSIVE AIRPLANE WITH A LOGO THAT READ DIAMOND TRUST APPEARED IN THE AIR - THAT ACCURSED NAME! I WAS DUMBFOUNDED WHEN THE PLANE CIRCLED AND CAME IN FOR A LANDING ON THE SAND. PAJARO ISLAND HAS NEVER BEEN ACCESSIBLE TO AIRCRAFT! YET SOMEHOW IT HAD BECOME SO.

EVANGELINE CHROME DIRECTED THE NAZI CASTAWAYS TO BOARD THE PLANE. “YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GO BACK AND COLLECT YOUR BELONGINGS. YOU CAN TAKE NOTHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR WAYWARD LIVES HERE,” SHE DECLARED. “WE DEPART IMMEDIATELY!” THE GENDER-AFFIRMATION “EVANGELISTS,” THEIR RECRUITS AND THEIR NAKED PRISONERS CLIMBED ABOARD THE AIRCRAFT AND FLEW INTO THE CLOUDS - BACK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD THEY’D BEEN EXILED FROM FOR SO LONG.

THEIR DEPARTURE WAS OBSERVED BY CHIZA AND A HANDFUL OF KAUWANI CONVERTS WHO HAD FLED DEEP INTO THE JUNGLE TO AVOID CAPTURE. “WE ARE FORSAKEN!” ONE OF THEM SHOUTED, AND ALL BUT CHIZA BEGAN TO SOB HOPELESSLY. “STOP!” HE REBUKED THEM. “WHERE IS YOUR FAITH? OUR GODS ARE STILL WITH US. WE MUST MAKE A PILGRIMAGE TO THE MOUNTAIN ALTAR, PROSTRATE OURSELVES ON IT AND LEARN THEIR WILL.”

THE ANOINTING OF NEW AKUA

IT FELT AS THOUGH I WERE CLIMBING ALONG WITH THE REFUGEES AS THEY SCALED PAJARO MOUNTAIN. TOGETHER, WE ACCESSED THE HOLY CHAMBER WHERE OVER MANY CENTURIES, POTENTIAL KAUWA CONVERTS HAD BEEN TESTED IN THEIR FAITH. I OBEYED WHEN CHIZA INSTRUCTED US TO REMOVE OUR CLOTHING AND LAY DOWN ATOP THE CIRCULAR STONE ALTAR. I SAW THE SILENT BIRDS OF HEAVEN ARRIVE AND BEGIN CIRCLING OVERHEAD.

SUDDENLY, THEY ALL DISAPPEARED AND WE BEHELD HOVERING ABOVE US OUR LONG-DEPARTED QUEEN: PAJARO HINA! HOW SPLENDID SHE WAS IN HER RAINBOW-COLORED BIRD GARMENT! WE CRIED TEARS OF JOY AND BEGAN TO PRAY. WE BEGGED THE QUEEN FOR GUIDANCE IN THIS TIME OF DEEP DESPAIR! SPEAKING SOFTLY IN THE KAUWA LANGUAGE, SHE SAID:

THE KANAKA TANGA, BLESSED FOUNDERS OF HUMANITY, ARE ONCE AGAIN IN DANGER OF GENOCIDE! THE DANGER IS GREATER THAN BEFORE BECAUSE THEIR PREDATOR IS NOT JUST A POLITICAL LEADER BUT A POWERFUL SORCERESS, MADDENED BY INSATIABLE THIRST FOR POWER. FROM ACROSS THE GREAT WATER, SHE STALKS THE KAUWA PEOPLE!

HER MAIN PREY IS A SINGULARLY GIFTED MAHU WHO CARRIES THE SAME NAME AS THE DEFENDER I SENT TO YOU YEARS AGO. THAT FIRST DEFENDER CANNOT RETURN TO THIS REALM, SO ALL OF YOU MUST TAKE UP HIS MANTLE AND CONTINUE HIS HOLY MISSION. I SHALL ANOINT YOU MY NEW AKUA AND GRANT YOU DIVINE POWER SO THAT YOU MAY STAND AGAINST THIS DAUGHTER OF DARKNESS. SHE MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO PERVERT THE NATURAL ORDER!

AS HER WORDS REVERBERATED IN MY EARS, I FOUND MYSELF WHIRLING AND RISING, FASTER AND FASTER, INSIDE A COLUMN OF DAZZLING COLOR. THE EXPERIENCE OVERWHELMED MY SENSES, AND I SOON LOST CONSCIOUSNESS. WHEN I AWAKENED IN MY BED, MY BRAIN FELT AS IF IT WERE ON FIRE! A DIVINE COMMAND BURNED WITHIN, DIRECTING ME TO LEAVE BEHIND THE LIFE I HAD COME TO KNOW.

I MUST OBEY MY QUEEN! SOON, MY MANDATED JOURNEY ACROSS THE GREAT WATER WILL BEGIN.

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STORMY FOSTER RETURNS