ARCHIE vs. DON KIRSHNER: "WE GOT JOKES! WE GOT SONGS!"
Salem Saberhagen presents
THE ARCHIES
It was going to be one hella challenge! Would you believe that, despite the great popularity of the "Archie" cartoon shows, Filmation Studio executives weren’t happy with the music? Child, I ain't shitting you! To Don Kirshner, they complained that the songs had become “too teen-oriented.” Going forward, they wanted new Archies music to be squarely directed at rug rats! Can you believe that shit? Sometimes it ain't about the Benjamins, it's about the egos - and I'm sure you know the name of that tune.
At the same time, Filmation was changing the “Archie” cartoon series to emphasize more music than ever before: “Archie’s Funhouse” would feature no less than four songs per episode (including recycled “teenage” numbers from the first TV season). Never one to shirk a challenge and always bubbling over with creativity, NBG stepped into the breach. Jeff Barry recruited him for the job in early June, prior to the "Sunshine" recording dates.
T R A P P E D !
. . . IN A ROCK CANDY GROOVE.
TV SOUNDTRACK SESSIONS
EARLY AUGUST 1990
TV SERIES SOUNDTRACK
LIVE-IN-CONCERT RECORDINGS
“ARCHIE’S FUNHOUSE”
A JEFF BARRY INTERNATIONAL PRODUCTION
MOONGLOW MUSIC, HOLLYWOOD
ARCHIE’S FUNHOUSE THEME
(RAY ELLIS)
- FUNHOUSE CD
ANYONE CAN BE ANYTHING
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
THE BALLAD OF 51st STREET PARK
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
JUNGLE GEORGE
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
LA-LA-LA-LA-LOVE
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
THE LAUGHING SONG
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
LITTLE BY LITTLE
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
THE LONELY CRICKET
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
LOOKS THAT SAY I LOVE YOU
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
LOVE VIBRATIONS
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
ALL AROUND THE WORLD
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
LOVE LAND
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
LUCKY ME
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
MISTER FACTORY
(NANCY CAL CAGNO, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- SUNSHINE LP
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
MY SINGIN’ GUITAR
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
THE ARCHIES
w/CHUCK CLAYTON
w/GERALDINE GRUNDY
w/KEVIN KELLER
Music Supervisor:
DON KIRSHNER
Arranger/Conductor:
RAY ELLIS
Producers:
NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG, NANCY CAL CAGNO
Remote Sound Engineer:
BLU PARKER
Remix Engineer:
VANCE NAPOLITANO
Jeff recruited his wife Nancy Cal Cagno to help write lyrics for Neil’s new songs, but dude didn’t need much help! He settled in at the Barry beach house in Santa Barbara and began crafting the 30+ songs needed - songs that would redefine The Archies’ musical persona on TV. The group members, The Trade Winds and veteran arranger Ray Ellis joined Goldberg and Cal Cagno there in mid-June to rehearse the new material. A very sharp distinction was about to be drawn between soundtrack material and live repertoire.
Tracking began in late July. Just before it did, Jughead and Betty surprised everybody with an announcement: They were engaged! What the fuck? Hadn't Betty always dreamed of hooking up with Archie? Well, like they say, a woman can change her mind; but it didn't happen right away. When Juggy proposed marriage, babe was blindsided! She knew how dude felt about her, and she had developed strong feelings for him, too; but after years of nursing a serious crush on Archie, she was unsure how to respond. Babe told Jug that she needed time to think about it!
Her stalling hurt and confused him, but dude didn’t give up. He sent her candy, roses, expensive bottles of wine, an adorable pet kitten and love letters that melted her heart like queso quesadilla! Betty’s reticence evaporated completely the night dude serenaded her on the beach; he sang a gorgeous rendition of "Oh, Baby! (Don't Let It Get You Down") - it was one of the new Neil Brian Goldberg tunes they’d been rehearsing. With tears in her eyes, she belatedly accepted his proposal, and they made love for the first time that same night. Awwww . . . sookie, sookie, now!
MID-AUGUST 1990
TV SERIES SOUNDTRACK
LIVE-IN-CONCERT RECORDINGS
“ARCHIE’S FUNHOUSE”
A JEFF BARRY INTERNATIONAL PRODUCTION
MOONGLOW MUSIC, HOLLYWOOD
DAVE CLARK FIVE MEDLEY:
GLAD ALL OVER (DAVE CLARK, MIKE SMITH)/
ANY WAY YOU WANT IT (DAVE CLARK)/
CATCH US IF YOU CAN
(DAVE CLARK, LENNY DAVIDSON)
BECAUSE (DAVE CLARK)
- unreleased
OH, BABY! (DON’T LET IT GET YOU DOWN)
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
OH, SWEET SUZY
(STEPHEN FOSTER, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
ONE BIG FAMILY
(NANCY CAL CAGNO, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- SUNSHINE LP
ROWBOAT RIDE
(NANCY CAL CAGNO, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
SOMEBODY LIKES YOU!
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
SWEET SATURDAY NIGHT
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
THE WAYS I LOVE YOU
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
THE BIG BOAT
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
CANDY KISSES
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
COMES THE SUN
(NANCY CAL CAGNO, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- SUNSHINE LP
DANCE!
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- SUNSHINE LP
DON’T RUN FROM LOVE
(NANCY CAL CAGNO, NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
FALLIN’ IN LOVE IS FUN
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
HEY! LITTLE ONE
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
HONEY
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- FUNHOUSE CD
(I’M JUST YOUR) PUPPET ON A STRING
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
YOUNG LOVE
(NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG)
- unreleased
THE ARCHIES
w/CHUCK CLAYTON
w/GERALDINE GRUNDY
w/KEVIN KELLER
Music Supervisor:
DON KIRSHNER
Arranger/Conductor:
RAY ELLIS
Producers:
NEIL BRIAN GOLDBERG, NANCY CAL CAGNO
Remote Sound Engineer:
BLU PARKER
Remix Engineer:
VANCE NAPOLITANO
NBG was tasked with capturing a younger demographic for Archies music, but he had to do that without alienating the group’s teen and adult fans! His strategy involved juxtaposing adult social concerns onto happy, toy piano melodies, and then having the band play them as if they were regular Rock songs. It wasn't so different from what Neil usually wrote, but adapted for a ten-year-old's sensibility! Dude had tykes dancing, singing and humming along to protest lyrics about the environment, urban renewal, racial harmony and world peace. It was a throwback to some of the Saturday morning cartoons of the Seventies like "Fat Albert", but much more in-your-face.
Neil is a Messianic Jew, and his strong Judeo-Christian values reverberated through songs like “The Big Boat”, “One Big Family” and “The Ballad of 51st Street Park.” Inspired by this material, Jeff Barry wrote "A Summer Prayer For Peace" for The Archies. Socially-conscious animators at Filmation Studios were also inspired; they came up with cutting-edge cartoon videos to compliment the song lyrics. The video for “Mister Factory” pushed the envelope farthest; it depicted dead fish floating in rivers and children in gas masks, struggling to survive factory fumes! Filmation let it air once or twice, but quickly took that video out of circulation; you’d be hard-pressed to find it anywhere today.
However, most of the new selections amounted to nursery rhymes - canciones infantiles like “Lucky Me”, “Monkey See, Monkey Do”, "Anyone Can Be Anything" and “Hey! Little One.” What made them listenable were the banging beats, stuttering bass and bone-crunching guitars that Archies fans were accustomed to!
All of the new material was tracked live-in-concert. Over six days, hundreds of children were flown in to see The Archies perform in person at the Filmation studio complex. Those performances were filmed and edited into footage that integrated live-action sequences with animation. This new format, which also included a revival of corny-ass vaudeville sketch comedy (We got jokes! We got songs!), really set “Archie’s Funhouse” apart from the previous series - and maybe not in the best way.
The aforementioned distinction between TV and stage repertoire got blurred: While Archie didn’t think NBG’s songs were as strong as what Jeff Barry and Ron Dante had provided, they still became some of his favorite songs to play! Shit like "I'm Just Your (Puppet On A String)" and "Sweet Saturday Night" definitely went over big at Hollywood's Butt Naked Lounge, where The Archies' unofficial residency had extended into the Nineties. Don Kirshner had finalized the set list for their 1990 Summer Tour and none of Neil's songs made the cut; but the band looked forward to presenting a few "Archie's Funhouse" tunes on their third concert tour, scheduled to launch in late May of 1991.
That's a tour that never happened! After three years, interest in The Archies had waned, and even the burst of new energy that NBG’s songs provided wasn’t enough to revive it. The market was now saturated with Archie merchandise that just sat on the shelf - nobody fucking wanted Archie lunchboxes anymore! Ratings for the cartoon series dipped along with sales figures for Archies CDs. After 1991, while new Archie cartoons were still being produced, they no longer featured characters performing Rock music. Filmation Studios' contract with the Kirshner organization ran out and it wasn't renewed.
So SUNSHINE did have its high points but it wasn’t the album that fans were expecting. Neither was Mr. K’s decision to not release “Love Vibrations” as a single! It was a bitchin’ Neil Brian Goldberg rocker that got the heaviest rotation on TV after the title track. I remember how shocked I was when I asked Sabrina to buy me a copy (no streaming services in those days - you had to haul ass to a record store) and she told me it wasn't for sale! What the pinche fuck?
Worst of all, no songs from "Archie + His New Pals” were included. Early sales for the SUNSHINE CD were so dismal, Kirshner stopped promoting it and rushed out a hits compilation. THE ARCHIES’ GREATEST HITS sold well enough during the holiday season, but nowhere near the number of units that the first three albums had sold. Aún así, most artists never sell enough product to justify a hits collection! This wasn't even The Archies' first one; it wouldn't be their last, either.
ARCHIE'S SATURDAY NIGHT
BLAST TOUR
June 1990
Atlanta GA - The Fabulous Fox Theater
Miami FL - The Fillmore
San Juan PR - Roberto Clemente Coliseum
"sweet savior"
