ROCK + ROLL IN COLOR, Part Six
Salem Saberhagen
presents
ROCK + ROLL IN COLOR!
SESSION LOGS OF THE NEW ARCHIES
Part Six:
LATER RECORDING SESSIONS
2057 - 2091
RITCHIE "RIKKI NINJA" FONSECA
- LEAD + BACKING VOCALS, KEYBOARDS
MALACHI "MAL HYPSTER" HIPP
- LEAD + BACKING VOCALS, DRUMS, PERCUSSION
BLOSSOM "DONNA DANTE" LUONGO-SHARMA
- LEAD + BACKING VOCALS, BASS
TOBIAS "TOBY MAXX" MAXWELL
- SAXOPHONE, FLUTE, HARMONICA
SVETLANA "LANA SUZUKI" PRESNYETJEKOVA
- GUITARS, BACKING VOCALS
RAMSAY KHALID "RAM" SHARMA
- DRUMS, GUITARS, KEYBOARDS, MUSIC DIRECTION
EMPLOYERS:
BLUE CAT RECORDS
VOX SOUND + IMAGE
BMG RECORDS
VINYL IS FOREVER, OR MY NAME ISN'T SALEM SABERHAGEN! AND IT'S GOING TO OUTLAST THE MUSIC FORMATS CREATED TO REPLACE IT. IN THE SPRING OF 2034, "dVINYL" WILL MAKE ITS DÉBUT ON THE WORLD STAGE. DOWNLOADABLE VINYL IS A MIRACLE MADE POSSIBLE BY 3-D PRINTER TECHNOLOGY: TEN INCHES IN DIAMETER, IT'S SCRATCH-RESISTANT, HOLDS TWICE AS MANY GROOVES AS A TWELVE-INCH RECORD, IS PERPETUALLY FREE OF AURAL GLITCHES, AND IF YOU EVER THROW IT OUT, IT'S BIODEGRADABLE. WHAT'S MORE, IT CAN BE DOWNLOADED IN ALL KINDS OF BITCHIN' COLOR COMBINATIONS!
dVINYL WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE MUSIC INDUSTRY; SALES OF RECORD PLAYERS SKYROCKET AND COMPACT DISCS ARE RENDERED TOTALLY OBSOLETE. BY 2037, THE NEW ARCHIES' FIRST YEAR AS A BAND, 90% OF ALBUMS ARE RELEASED IN dVINYL FORM. THERE WILL ALSO BE A SHORT-LIVED dvdVINYL FORMAT; THE NEW ARCHIES' FAMILY OF MAN ALBUM WILL BE A "DVD-LP" RARITY.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE BELOVED TWO-SONG VINYL SINGLE WILL REMAIN A RELIC OF THE PAST! HOWEVER, AN EQUIVALENT APPEARS IN THE FORM OF "VINGS" OR DVD SINGLES. THESE COASTER-SIZED DISCS ARE THE NEW FORMAT FOR MUSIC VIDEOS, AND THE NEW ARCHIES WILL RELEASE A DOZEN OF THEM BETWEEN 2040 AND 2057. THE REST OF THEIR SINGLES OUTPUT WILL BE IN THE FORM OF STREAMED TITLES AND PROMOTIONAL DOWNLOADS FOR PODCASTERS. TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL VINYL FORMAT, NEW ARCHIES SINGLES WILL ALWAYS HAVE "TOPSIDES" AND "FLIPSIDES".
ONE THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT ARCHIE ANDREWS: DUDE WAS CONSISTENT. UNTIL HIS DYING DAY IN THE YEAR 2073, ARCHIE WILL DESPISE ALL DIGITAL FORMATS! THAT'S WHY THE ARCHIE RECORDS CATALOG WON'T EVER BE MADE AVAILABLE ON CD. IN THE YEAR 2059, VOX SOUND + IMAGE WILL BUY UP THE REPUBLIC USA CATALOG; THAT'S THE COMPANY THAT CURRENTLY OWNS THE ARCHIES' MASTER TAPES. THE NEW ARCHIES WILL HAVE CUT MASTERS FOR BOTH REPUBLIC AND ITS SUBSIDIARY LABEL, RED-BIRD.
IN THE YEAR 2063, VOX WILL GRANT ARCHIE A SPECIAL REQUEST. THEY'LL PRESS UP TWENTY-FOUR ARCHIES TITLES FOR HIM ON OLD-FASHIONED VINYL. THIS PRIVATE PRESSING WILL ALSO INCLUDE TWENTY-FOUR NEW ARCHIES, DONNA DANTE AND RIKKI NINJA TITLES. VOX WILL MANUFACTURE A LIMITED NUMBER OF DUPLICATES, AND YOURS TRULY WILL ACQUIRE ONE OF THE NEW ARCHIES' SETS. IT'S ONE OF MY PRIZE POSSESSIONS! YOU MUST KNOW THAT SABRINA LOVED CHI, DEE DEE, FUJI, GARCY, TOTO AND NINJA AS IF THEY WERE HER OWN CHILDREN, RIGHT? WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW: I FELT THE VERY SAME WAY ABOUT THEM. DEEP INSIDE, I GUESS I'M JUST A BIG OLD PUSSY!
DECEMBER 13-14, 2056
SUN STUDIOS, MEMPHIS
SINGLES SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
GARCY BRISEÑO
WITH THE NEW ARCHIES
+ THE RIVERDALE ROCK CHORALE
(BACKING VOCALS)
VOCAL ARRANGER: GARCY BRISEÑO
ARRANGER/CONDUCTOR:
RAMSAY KHALID SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEERS:
CORKY CLAYTON, CINDY ST. JOSEPHS
STONES (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
HOLLY HOLY (NEIL DIAMOND)
- SINGLE B-SIDE
GLORY ROAD (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
CANTA LIBRE (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
LANA SUZUKI STRUGGLES MIGHTILY TO KEEP CONTROL OF THIS RECORDING SESSION! CAMERAS ARE EVERYWHERE, FILMING THE EVENT FOR MTV AND ENTERTAINMENT NEWS OUTLETS. MEANWHILE, GARCY BRISEÑO TRIES TO TAKE OVER, SHOUTING ORDERS TO EVERYBODY IN THE STUDIO! THE REST OF THE GROUP KNOWS HOW MERCURIAL GARCY CAN BE WHEN CUTTING VOCAL TRACKS, AND THEY GIVE HER THE ROOM SHE NEEDS TO DELIVER HER BEST WORK. SHE AND SUSU COME TO A MEETING OF MINDS AND END UP WORKING WELL TOGETHER. THESE TRACKS, AUGMENTED BY THE TWENTY-VOICE-STRONG RIVERDALE ROCK CHORALE, ARE SHEER DYNAMITE!
MARCH 8 - 12, 2057
ROCK MASTERS STUDIO, NORFOLK
ALBUM SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
MEMPHIS STREETS
VOCAL ARRANGER: MAL HYPSTER
RHYTHM ARRANGER: RIKKI NINJA
BRASS ARRANGER: TOBY MAXX
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEERS:
CORKY CLAYTON, CHILI AMANPOUR
TWO-BIT MANCHILD (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
DEEP IN THE MORNING (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
LONG GONE (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
CHERRY, CHERRY (NEIL DIAMOND)
- SINGLE B-SIDE
CRACKLIN' ROSIE (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
AND THE GRASS WON'T PAY NO MIND
(NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
THE MEMPHIS DATE WITH GARCY WON'T BE A ONE-OFF COLLABORATION. IT'S THE FIRST RECORDING SESSION FOR A NEW ARCHIES FAREWELL ALBUM! TWENTY YEARS WILL HAVE PASSED SINCE BREE SPELLMAN FOUNDED THE GROUP; NOW THE MEMBERS (MINUS FRANKIE FUJIYAMA, WHO DECLINES TO TAKE PART) HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE THEIR FANS A PROPER GOODBYE. THE VEHICLE THEY CHOOSE IS THE SONG CATALOGUE OF NEIL DIAMOND, SPECIFICALLY THOSE HITS HE RECORDED BETWEEN 1966 AND 1972. RIKKI NINJA, NOW A RISING POP STAR IN ITALY, FLIES IN FROM MILAN TO SING AND PLAY KEYBOARDS ON THESE TRACKS.
DISNEY ACQUIRES MASTER TAPES FOR BOTH THE ARCHIES AND THE NEW ARCHIES IN 2124. BOTH GROUPS' CATALOGS ARE TAPPED THE FOLLOWING YEAR, ALBEIT ON DIFFERENT CONTINENTS. BUENA VISTA MEDIA RELEASES THE ARCHIES COMPILATION ARCHIE FOREVER! IN NORTH AMERICA. THERE ARE NO IMMEDIATE PLANS TO REISSUE NEW ARCHIES MATERIAL, AND THE GROUP'S FRENCH FAN BASE TAKES THIS FOOT-DRAGGING AS A MAJOR AFFRONT! BY POPULAR DEMAND, DISNEY'S EUROPEAN SUBSIDIARY MARKETS A HASTILY-COMPILED, SIX-RECORD VINYL BOX SET OF NEW ARCHIES TRACKS. HASTE WILL NOT MAKE WASTE: HOT DIGGITY DOG: VINGT ANS DES NEW ARCHIES ENDS UP SCORING A MUCH BIGGER HIT THAN ARCHIE FOREVER! IT WILL CLAIM THE TOP SPOT ON FRENCH BILLBOARD'S CATALOG ALBUMS CHART FOR AN ASTOUNDING THREE MONTHS!
MARCH 16 - 18, 2057
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
ALBUM SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
MEMPHIS STREETS
WITH GARCY BRISEÑO (GUITAR)
+ THE RIVERDALE ROCK CHORALE
(BACKING VOCALS)
VOCAL ARRANGER: MAL HYPSTER
RHYTHM ARRANGER: RIKKI NINJA
BRASS ARRANGER: TOBY MAXX
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
SHILO (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
KENTUCKY WOMAN (NEIL DIAMOND)
- SINGLE B-SIDE (EUROPE)
SUNDAY SUN (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
RIVER RUNS, NEW GROWN PLUMS
(NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
SWEET CAROLINE (NEIL DIAMOND)
MEMPHIS STREETS LP
BROTHER LOVE'S TRAVELING
SALVATION SHOW
(NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
SUBSEQUENT SESSIONS FOR THE FAREWELL ALBUM TAKE PLACE WHERE IT ALL BEGAN FOR THE NEW ARCHIES: WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO IN BOSTON! THE MEMBERS WILL HAVE AUDITIONED HERE, WORKED AS THE HOUSE BAND AND CUT SIX BEST-SELLING ALBUMS IN THIS HAUNTED MANSION. LEAD SINGER MAL HYPSTER FEELS LIKE HE'S COME HOME, AND DUDE IS DELIGHTED WHEN SOME OF THE STUDIO'S GHOSTLY DENIZENS JOIN THE RIVERDALE ROCK CHORALE ON BACKING VOCALS!
MARCH 20 - 22, 2057
WITCH QUEEN RECORDINGS STUDIO, BOSTON
ALBUM SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
MEMPHIS STREETS
WITH ARCHIE ANDREWS + GARCY BRISEÑO
(GUITARS),
THE RIVERDALE ROCK CHORALE
(BACKING VOCALS)
+ THE BOSTON BRASS ENSEMBLE
VOCAL ARRANGER: MAL HYPSTER
RHYTHM ARRANGER: RIKKI NINJA
BRASS ARRANGER: TOBY MAXX
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
SONG SUNG BLUE (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
SOLITARY MAN (NEIL DIAMOND)
- SINGLE B-SIDE (EUROPE)
SOO-LAY-MOHN (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
WALK ON WATER (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON
(NEIL DIAMOND)
- UNRELEASED
I AM . . . I SAID! (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
AT THIS LATE MARCH DATE, ARCHIE ANDREWS CONVINCES PROUCER LANA SUZUKI TO SING A RARE LEAD VOCAL. MANY FANS WILL PREFER HER ALTERNATE TAKE OF "SONG SUNG BLUE" TO THE MASTER TAKE SUNG BY CHI, BUT THE VERY MENTION OF IT MAKES SUSU FLUSH WITH EMBARASSMENT! NINJA WILL REMEMBER THESE THREE DAYS AS HIS BEST VOCAL WORK WITH THE NEW ARCHIES. IN FACT, THE TRACKS SOUND SO GOOD HE REGRETS THAT THEY WEREN'T RECORDED FOR ONE OF HIS SOLO ALBUMS! DUDE HAS BEEN CRAVING SOLO STARDOM SINCE BEFORE HIS DAYS LEADING TAXI, THE ORIGINAL HOUSE BAND FOR WITCH QUEEN STUDIO. BY NOW, THE TRANSSEXUAL MUSIC MAN IS WELL ON HIS WAY TO SEEING HIS DREAM COME TRUE.
MARCH 25 - 27, 2057
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
ALBUM SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
MEMPHIS STREETS
WITH ARCHIE ANDREWS (GUITAR)
THE BOSTON BRASS ENSEMBLE
(BACKING VOCALS)
+ *SHARMANTE (GUEST DUET VOCALS)
VOCAL ARRANGER: MAL HYPSTER
RHYTHM ARRANGER: RIKKI NINJA
BRASS ARRANGER: TOBY MAXX
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
THE TIME IS NOW (NEIL DIAMOND)
- SINGLE
LORDY! (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
CRUNCHY GRANOLA SUITE (NEIL DIAMOND)*
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
PLAY ME (NEIL DIAMOND)
MEMPHIS STREETS LP
MERRY-GO-ROUND (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
MEMPHIS STREETS (NEIL DIAMOND)
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
ARCHIE ATTENDS TWO CONSECUTIVE ALBUM SESSIONS. AT THE SECOND ONE, SUSU INVITES HIM TO STRAP ON HER GUITAR AND PLAY LEAD ON NEIL DIAMOND'S "LORDY!" DUDE LIGHTS A FIRE UNDER THE TRACK, AND DONNA DANTE, DELIGHTED TO BE WORKING WITH HIM, POURS MAXIMUM SOUL INTO HER VOCALS. DEE DEE ALSO SINGS LEAD ON "MEMPHIS STREETS" AND JOINS CHI AND NINJA TO CUT TRIO VOCALS ON "MERRY-GO-ROUND". FOR "CRUNCHY GRANOLA SUITE" AND "PLAY ME", SHE COAXES HER HUSBAND INTO THE VOCAL BOOTH AND THEY SING THESE TUNES AS DUETS. ALTHOUGH THE NEW ARCHIES HAVE OFFERED RAM SHARMA MEMBERSHIP SEVERAL TIMES, HE RESISTS JOINING THE GROUP! HIS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE ALBUM WILL BE CREDITED AS "SHARMANTE" (SHARMA + DANTE).
MARCH 30, 2057
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
ALBUM SESSIONS
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
MEMPHIS STREETS
WITH GARCY BRISEÑO (GUITAR),
*JUGGY JONES + **BETTY COOPER,
(GUEST LEAD VOCALS)
VOCAL ARRANGER: MAL HYPSTER
RHYTHM ARRANGER: RIKKI NINJA
BRASS ARRANGER: TOBY MAXX
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
PRODUCER: LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
DONE TOO SOON (NEIL DIAMOND)*
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
MORNINGSIDE (NEIL DIAMOND)*
- SINGLE (ASIA)
Instrumental: AIN'T NO WAY! (NEIL DIAMOND)
UNRELEASED
Instrumental: PRACTICALLY NEWBORN
(NEIL DIAMOND)
UNRELEASED
RED, RED WINE (NEIL DIAMOND)**
- SINGLE (ASIA)
BROOKLYN ROADS (NEIL DIAMOND)**
- MEMPHIS STREETS LP
THIS IS THE LAST SESSION FOR THE NEIL DIAMOND TRIBUTE ALBUM THAT WILL BE CALLED MEMPHIS STREETS. IT'S RESERVED FOR A PAIR OF INSTRUMENTALS (WHICH ARE SHELVED) AND GUEST VOCALS BY TWO ESTEEMED MEMBERS OF THE ARCHIES: FORSYTHE "JUGGY" JONES AND HIS EX-WIFE, MARY ELIZABETH "BETTY" COOPER. JUGGY AND BETTY ARE BOTH IN THEIR EIGHTIES, BUT THEY'VE STILL GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SHOW THEIR SUCCESSORS WHAT SOULFUL SINGING IS ALL ABOUT! LANA SUZUKI LETS THEM CHOOSE THEIR OWN NEIL DIAMOND FAVORITES TO COVER. JUGGY'S RAPID-FIRE READING OF "DONE TOO SOON" IS GREAT, BUT IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL THE BLONDE LADY SINGS! AT THE END OF BETTY'S ONE-TAKE PERFORMANCE OF "BROOKLYN ROADS", APPLAUSE, WHISTLES AND SHOUTS ERUPT FROM WITCH QUEEN'S SKELETON HEAD CONTROL BOOTH. GARCY IS MOVED TO TEARS, AND NINJA CALLS IT JODIDAMENTE FABULOSO (TRANSLATION FROM SPANISH: "ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY FABULOUS")! THE REMAINING BALLAD TRACKS WON'T BE OVERLOOKED; IN 2059, "MORNINGSIDE" AND "RED, RED WINE" WILL BELATEDLY SCORE HIT SINGLES ON THE EUROPEAN CONTINENT.
APRIL 4, 2057
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
OVERDUB SESSION
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
2037 PLAYBACK ARRANGER/PRODUCER:
BREE SPELLMAN
OVERDUB PRODUCER: RAM SHARMA
OVERDUB ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
I JUST WANNA KEEP IT TOGETHER (PAUL DAVIS)
- SINGLE A-SIDE
OOH, CHILD (STAN VINCENT)
- HIT KIT EP
THE NEW ARCHIES WILL HAVE CONTRACTED WITH SALEM SABERHAGEN TO RELEASE MEMPHIS STREETS ON BLUE CAT RECORDS; THAT'S THE INDIE LABEL HE LAUNCHES AFTER STEPPING DOWN AS MANAGER OF WITCH QUEEN STUDIO. THE GROUP HAS PROMISED SALEM A SINGLE, TOO, AND GARCY'S TRANSCENDENT READING OF "HOLLY HOLY" IS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. SABRINA'S FORMER PET FELINE (RESTORED TO HUMAN FORM IN THE YEAR 2050) CONCURS BUT IS FINICKY ABOUT WHAT GOES ON THE FLIPSIDE. HE FAVORS A PREVIOUSLY UNRELEASED TRACK THAT CHI RECORDED SOLO TWENTY-ONE YEARS AGO! THE BAND IS BLINDSIDED BY THIS BIZARRE REQUEST: THEY'D MUCH RATHER PROGRAM ONE OF THEIR NEW ALBUM CUTS! BUT SALEM IS "DA KATT" AND HE ALWAYS GETS HIS WAY. RAM SHARMA OVERDUBS KEYBOARDS, DRUMS, PERCUSSION AND BACKING VOCALS. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT ASTOUNDS EVERYONE: PAUL DAVIS'S "I JUST WANNA KEEP US TOGETHER" FAR OUTPERFORMS NEIL DIAMOND'S "HOLLY HOLY" ON THE CHARTS, BECOMING THE NEW ARCHIES' FINAL NUMBER ONE HIT! THE FAREWELL ALBUM WILL FOLLOW IT ONTO THE BEST-SELLER LISTS, ALBEIT BELATEDLY IN 2058. AT THE OVERDUB SESSION FOR CHI'S TAPE, RAM RESCUES ANOTHER TRACK FROM THE VAULTS: DEE DEE'S 2041 RECORDING OF "OOH, CHILD". HOWEVER, IT WON'T BE RELEASED UNTIL THE YEAR 2091, AND ONLY IN ASIA.
SEPTEMBER 7, 2057
PLAYBACK
HATCH BAND SHELL, BOSTON
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
LIVE RECORDING
A NEW ARCHIES PRODUCTION
JAMZ ON THE HATCH SHELL
WITH THE BOSTON BRASS ENSEMBLE,
FAST FLOSSIE (BACKING VOCALS),
*CARMEN SERNA (GUEST VOCALS)
+ **ARCHIE ANDREWS (GUITAR)
MUSIC DIRECTOR: RAM SHARMA
DECEMBER 16 - 18, 2057
REMIX SESSION
REMIX PRODUCERS:
MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
REMIX ENGINEER: CORKY CLAYTON
INTRO:
Willie + The Hand Jive (JOHNNY OTIS)/
Humpty Dumpty (COHEN, ROSTELLI)
NEIL DIAMOND MEDLEY:
Cracklin' Rosie/Sweet Caroline/
Two-Bit Manchild/Walk On Water
(NEIL DIAMOND)
THREE DOG NIGHT MEDLEY:
Eli's Comin' (LAURA NYRO)/
Shambala (DANIEL MOORE)/
Never Been To Spain (HOYT AXTON)/
Family Of Man (CONRAD, WILLIAMS)
CAN'T BREAK THE HABIT (DOZIER, HOLLAND)
TIGHTER! (JAMES, KING)
ANNETTE FUNICELLO MEDLEY:
Dance Annette (BOB + DICK SHERMAN)/
Hey, Mama! (PAUL ANKA)/
Promise Me Anything (HEMRIC, STYNER)/
Rock-A-Polka (BOB + DICK SHERMAN)
INTERMISSION
PETULA DOES PARIS MEDLEY:
L'Agent Secret (ABER, CLARK)/
Un Mal Pour Un Bien (ABER, CLARK)/
Le Coeur Qui Bat (ABER, CLARK)/
Dans le Train de Nuit (CLARK, COUR)/
Las Vegas (CLARK,DELANOE, MAGENTA)/
La Mer Est Comme Toi (ABER, CLARK)
WIGGLE ON OUT (JACK SCOTT)
SAUSALITO (GRAHAM GOULDMAN)
CHINA GROVE
(CHARLES THOMAS JOHNSTON)*
SKA MEDLEY:
Sugar, Sugar en Español
(BARRY, KIM, MILSTEIN)**/
My Boy Lollipop (ROBERTS, SPENCER)/
Don't Mention My Name (CREWE, GAUDIO)
SOUL DEEP SKA (WAYNE CARSON THOMPSON)
I JUST WANNA KEEP IT TOGETHER
(PAUL DAVIS)
STAND UP! (DEL SHANNON)
FINALE:
Dirty Water (ED COBB)/
Mama Can't Buy You Love (BELL, JAMES)
THE NEW ARCHIES' LAST CONCERT IS A MAJOR TRIUMPH! DELIGHTING A HUGE CROWD GATHERED ON THE BOSTON ESPLANADE, THE BAND MEMBERS DANCE, SING, WISECRACK AND TRADE OFF INSTRUMENTS AT WILL. NINJA EXHIBITS MAXIMUM STAR POWER, SINGING LEAD ON MOST OF THE SONGS. DEE DEE PROVES THAT SHE'S LOST NONE OF HER VOCAL PROWESS: BABE TEARS IT UP ON "HUMPTY DUMPTY", "NEVER BEEN TO SPAIN" AND A PETULA CLARK MEDLEY (RECORDED BUT NEVER RELEASED BY THE ARCHIES) WHICH CLOSES WITH A SOARING "LA MER EST COMME TOI," SUNG IN DUET WITH NINJA. CHI THRILLS WITH EXCITING RENDITIONS OF "ELI'S COMIN", THE SKA MEDLEY, "I JUST WANNA KEEP IT TOGETHER" AND "MAMA CAN'T BUY YOU LOVE". NEW MEMBER RAM SHARMA GETS A WARM WELCOME AND WILD APPLAUSE WHEN HE BELTS "WILLIE + THE HAND JIVE", "SHAMBALA", "SAUSALITO", "SOUL DEEP SKA" AND "DIRTY WATER." AS SHARMANTE, RAM AND DEE DEE CAUSE A SENSATION DUETTING ON "STAND UP!" SO DO ARCHIE ANDREWS, TRADING GUITAR LICKS WITH SUSU, AND SPECIAL GUEST-STAR CARMEN SERNA, REVIVING HER LONG-AGO HIT "CHINA GROVE". (CARMEN IS ACTUALLY DEAD! HER BODY IS NOW OCCUPIED BY THE SOUL OF LYLE JASON BLOSSOM, FORMER MANAGER OF THE NEW ARCHIES.) SABRINA MATERIALIZES BACKSTAGE AND PROUDLY WATCHES FROM THE WINGS AS HER PROTEGÉS TAKE THEIR FINAL BOWS.
OCTOBER 16 - 20, 2071
CLAMPETT STUDIOS, NASHVILLE
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
AN ORIGINAL NERO THE DOG PRODUCTION
BRENDA LEE COUNTRY
OVERDUB SESSIONS
CASEY DAWSON, GUITAR
GRETCHEN DIMES, STEEL GUITAR
ESTEBAN NAGADOCHES, FIDDLE
ALFONSO KUMIS, PERCUSSION
JASMINE PORTER-KUMIS, PERCUSSION
ARRANGERS:
THE NEW ARCHIES
PRODUCER/OVERDUB ENGINEER:
MIX MISTRESS HEPZIBAH
REMIX ENGINEER:
SONNY YIN-BAO
SWEET NOTHIN'S (RONNIE SELF)
ONE STEP AT A TIME (HUGH ASHLEY)
LITTLE JONAH (STANLEY KAY)
IS IT TRUE? (CARTER, LEWIS)
THE WAITING GAME (BUZZ CASON)
JOHNNY ONE-TIME (FRAZIER, OWENS)
JUST ANOTHER LIE (ERNIE SUÁREZ)
COMIN' ON STRONG (DAVID WILKINS)
SISTERS IN SORROW (LEVINE, WINE)
HERE COMES THAT FEELIN' (BURNETTE, OSBORNE)
MEDLEY:
I'm Sorry/I Want To Be Wanted
(ALBRITTEN, SELF/GANNON, SPOTTI, TESTA)
RIDE! RIDE! RIDE! (LIZ ANDERSON)
BREAK IT TO ME GENTLY (LAMPERT, SENECA)
LET'S JUMP THE BROOMSTICK (CHARLES ROBINS)
ANYBODY BUT ME (ALBRITTEN, SELF)
IF THIS IS OUR LAST TIME (DALLAS FRAZIER)
NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS PASS SINCE THE NEW ARCHIES' FAREWELL ALBUM AND CONCERT. THERE'S NOW A PHENOMENON CALLED "ARCHIE-f*cking-MANIA!", A CRAZE THAT NOT ONLY CELEBRATES THE ARCHIES, BUT THEIR SUCCESSOR GROUP, TOO. SEVEN OF DONNA DANTE'S FINEST VOCAL PERFORMANCES ARE NOW UNEARTHED: FULL-TILT ROCKERS "SWEET NOTHIN'S", "LITTLE JONAH", "JUST ANOTHER LIE", "SISTERS IN SORROW", "LET'S JUMP THE BROOMSTICK" AND THE BALLAD "IF THIS IS OUR LAST TIME." THEY'RE TAKEN FROM DEMOS THAT THE NEW ARCHIES WILL HAVE RECORDED AT SANTA BARBARA'S CHAPEL OF ROCK IN LATE 2049. OTHER GEMS INCLUDE MAL HYPSTER'S SOARING VOCALS ON THE MEDLEY OF "I'M SORRY" AND "I WANT TO BE WANTED", RIKKI NINJA TEARING IT UP WITH "COMIN' ON STRONG" AND "BREAK IT TO ME GENTLY", AND ROLLICKING TRIO VOCALS PUTTING A FRESH SPIN ON "ANYBODY BUT ME". THESE NASHVILLE OVERDUB SESSIONS RESULT IN A BRENDA LEE TRIBUTE ALBUM THAT BELATEDLY EARNS THE NEW ARCHIES ENDLESS PLAUDITS.
OCTOBER 24 - 28, 2071
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
ALBUM SESSIONS
A WITCH QUEEN PRODUCTION
CHAINS OF LOVE
TOBY MAXX
WITH LANA SUZUKI (GUITAR)
GILLES CHAUDHURY (PIANO)
BARTHOLOMEW JOYAS (BASS),
JHERI SINÉAD PERKINS (DRUMS) +
MAL HYPSTER (PERCUSSION)
ARRANGER/CONDUCTOR:
TOBY MAXX
PRODUCERS:
MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER:
CORKY CLAYTON
LOVE LETTERS IN THE SAND (COOTS, KENNY)
IT'S TOO SOON TO KNOW (DEBBIE CHESSLER)
MOODY RIVER (GARY BRUCE)
IF DREAMS CAME TRUE (ALLEN, STILLMAN)
I ALMOST LOST MY MIND (IVORY JOE HUNTER)
DAYS OF WINE + ROSES (MANCINI, MERCER)
FRIENDLY PERSUASION (TIOMKIN, WEBSTER)
THE EXODUS SONG (BOONE, GOLD)
I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS (JONES, KAHN)
I'LL BE HOME (LEWIS, WASHINGTON)
CHAINS OF LOVE (AHMET ERTEGUN)
BY NOW, TOBY MAXX'S ALCOHOL ADDICTION IS UNDER CONTROL. HE'S A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN, SHARING HIS HOME WITH HIS HUSBAND MAL HYPSTER AND LANA SUZUKI, THE MOTHER OF HIS INFANT CHILD. WHEN SALEM SABERHAGEN INQUIRES WHY HE NEVER CUT A SOLO ALBUM, TOTO RESPONDS THAT HE'S LONG HAD ONE IN MIND. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" SALEM WANTS TO KNOW. "HAUL ASS AND GET 'ER DONE! TOMORROW ISN'T PROMISED, YOU KNOW." A MONTH LATER, TOTO ENTERS WITCH QUEEN WEST WITH SOME OF UTAH'S FINEST JAZZ MUSICIANS. THEY CUT AN ALL-INSTRUMENTAL TRIBUTE TO FIFTIES IDOL PAT BOONE. "IT WON'T SELL WORTH A DAMN", HE LAUGHS, "BUT I DON'T CARE. I LOVE THESE OLD SONGS." BUT SALEM'S WORDS PROVE TRAGICALLY PROPHETIC: THREE DAYS AFTER RECORDING IS COMPLETED, TOBY MAXX DIES IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT! IT TAKES SEVERAL YEARS FOR CHI AND SUSU TO PROCESS THEIR GRIEF, BUT THE ALBUM THEY CO-PRODUCED FOR TOTO, CHAINS OF LOVE, FINALLY GOES ON SALE IN EARLY 2074. CHAINS OF LOVE WINS CRITICAL PRAISE AND IS A FITTING EPITATH FOR TOBIAS MAXWELL'S SUPERLATIVE MUSICIANSHIP.
NOVEMBER 6 - 9, 2076
GRAND PRIX STUDIOS, MILAN
RAJAH STUDIOS, MUMBAI
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
DIY (DO IT YOURSELF)
ARCHIE
OVERDUB SESSIONS
A MONEY BUNDLES PRODUCTION
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER:
MIX MISTRESS HEPZIBAH
ARRANGERS:
ARCHIE ANDREWS, RIKKI NINJA,
RAM SHARMA
PRODUCERS: MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
SOUND ENGINEERS:
CORKY CLAYTON, GUY IMBRAZZO,
CHAN TOLLIVER, SONNY YIN-BAO
BREAK THE CHINA DOLL
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
SHACK OF HATE
(JONES, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
YANK MY TWISTED GLARE!
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
DO IT YOURSELF
(PX MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
OCTOBER, OCTOBER
(PX MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
I LOVE THE UNDERGROUND
(PX MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
NOTHING FOR GRANTED
(ARCE, HATCH, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
SHY LIKE BUNNY/BOLD AS FUCK
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN, STEVENS)
- DIY LP
EVER SINCE WORKING WITH HIM AT THE NEW ARCHIES' FINAL RECORD DATES, DEE DEE HAS DREAMED OF CUTTING AN ALBUM WITH ARCHIE ANDREWS. HIS DEATH IN 2073 MAKES THAT IMPOSSIBLE; BUT THANKS TO THE EFFORTS OF MIX MISTRESS HEPZIBAH, MANAGER OF THE ARCHIES' CATALOG, THE IMPOSSIBLE BECOMES POSSIBLE! AT HEPZI'S REQUEST, THE NEW ARCHIES CONSTRUCT AN ALBUM AROUND GUITAR TRACKS THAT ARCHIE RECORDED IN THE YEAR 2044. THESE TRACKS WERE INTENDED FOR SONGS WRITTEN BY PX MILSTEIN, AN AVANT-GARDE COMPOSER. THEY WERE SHELVED BECAUSE OF A LEGAL DISPUTE; BY THE TIME THE MATTER IS RESOLVED, THE PROJECT WILL HAVE LONG SINCE BEEN ABANDONED. HEPZIBAH OBTAINS THE SHEET MUSIC, THE GUITAR TRACKS AND THE INTENDED SONG ARRANGEMENTS FROM ARCHIE'S ESTATE. THE NEW ARCHIES TURN THEM INTO SOMETHING BEST DESCRIBED AS AN ABSTRACT SOUND PAINTING: PURE DISSONANCE, WITH NO COHESIVE ELEMENTS! IT'S UNLIKE ANYTHING THEY'VE EVER DONE BEFORE. AT THESE SESSIONS, DEE DEE WHISPERS HER LEADS FOR THE FIRST FOUR VOCAL SELECTIONS, NINJA SCAT-SINGS THE NEXT FOUR, AND THEN BOTH OF THEM TEAM UP WITH CHI TO SCREAM THE BIZARRE LYRICS OF "SHY LIKE BUNNY/BOLD AS FUCK"!
NOVEMBER 11 - 13, 2076
GRAND PRIX STUDIOS, MILAN
RAJAH STUDIOS, MUMBAI
WITCH QUEEN RECORDING STUDIO, BOSTON
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
DIY (DO IT YOURSELF)
ARCHIE
OVERDUB SESSIONS
A MONEY BUNDLES PRODUCTION
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER:
MIX MISTRESS HEPZIBAH
ARRANGERS:
ARCHIE ANDREWS, RIKKI NINJA,
RAM SHARMA
PRODUCERS: MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
CONDUCTOR: RAM SHARMA
SOUND ENGINEERS:
CORKY CLAYTON, GUY IMBRAZZO,
CHAN TOLLIVER, SONNY YIN-BAO
Instrumental: BREATHLESS SUICIDE
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
Instrumental: UNDERTOW OF SHEILA
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
Instrumental: LARYNGECTOMY
(PX MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
CHINABERRY CRACK COCAINE
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
YET NOT ABOUT US!
(ANDREWS, MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME?
(PX MILSTEIN)
- DIY LP
SOUND OF BITTER TEA
(MILSTEIN, STEVENS)
- DIY LP
CHI SINGS ALL THE VOCAL SELECTIONS AT THESE DATES, USING A FALSETTO DELIVERY SELDOM HEARD ON HIS NEW ARCHIES RECORDINGS. CHI, NINJA, DEE DEE AND RAM WILL WORK REMOTELY AND SEPARATELY ON ARCHIE'S POSTHUMOUS ALBUM SESSIONS; THIS IS AS CLOSE AS THE NEW ARCHIES WILL EVER COME TO A BONAFIDE REUNION! CHIEF ENGINEER SONNY YIN-BAO COORDINATES THEIR WORK AND LATER FINALIZES THE ALBUM MIXES IN SALT LAKE CITY. RELEASED BY VOX SOUND + IMAGE, DIY (DO IT YOURSELF) IS EXPERIMENTAL "ART ROCK" AND AN ODDITY AMONG ARCHIE'S SOLO ALBUMS. CRITICAL REACTION WILL BE MIXED, BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP IT FROM BECOMING HIS MOST SUCCESSFUL LP! MUCH OF THE CREDIT GOES TO MIX MISTRESS HEPZIBAH, BUT IT'S THE SURVIVING NEW ARCHIES WHO MAKE THIS POSTHUMOUS TRIUMPH HAPPEN.
JULY 19 - 20, 2086
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
A WITCH QUEEN PRODUCTION
IN ASSOCIATION WITH DEAN STAFFORD PRODUCTIONS
ALBUM SESSIONS
THE RIGHT TO ROCK!
LANA SUZUKI + FRIENDS:
*IGOR McCHINTZKY
**PONCHINELLO 4 FUX SAIKK
***DOLLFACE MADEMOISELLE
WITH FONZI NERO (RHYTHM GUITAR),
SEIJO NAGASAKI (BASS),
STOMPIE WINCHESTER
(KEYBOARDS/MUSIC DIRECTION),
LADDY MAXX (DRUMS),
MAL HYPSTER (PERCUSSION),
+ FAST FLOSSIE (BACKING VOCALS)
PRODUCER: DEAN STAFFORD
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS:
MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER:
SONNY YIN-BAO
Instrumental: GOOD ROCKIN' TONIGHT
(ROY BROWN)
THE RIGHT TO ROCK (LÓPEZ, SMITH)*
TWENTY FLIGHT ROCK (COCHRAN, FAIRCHILD)**
Instrumental: LIMBO ROCK (BILLY STRANGE)
ROCK THIS TOWN (BRIAN SETZER)***
Instrumental: LET'S GO ROCK + ROLL
(CASEY, FINCH)
IN THE YEAR 2071, LANA SUZUKI WILL SELL HER SHARES IN WITCH QUEEN STUDIOS IN ORDER TO RAISE HER BABY SON, LADDY MAXWELL. OVER THE NEXT FIFTEEN YEARS, SHE'LL LARGELY STAY OUT OF THE PUBLIC EYE. OCCASIONALLY, SUSU WILL SERVE AS BANDLEADER FOR TELEVISED MUSIC SPECIALS; SHE TAKES THESE JOBS AS A FAVOR TO HER OLD FRIEND, TV HOST DEAN STAFFORD. SUSU AND DINO WILL HAVE BECOME FRIENDS DURING THE NEW ARCHIES' MULTIPLE APPEARANCES ON HIS SHOW: THE 21st CENTURY REBOOT OF "READY, STEADY, GO!" AFTER THE GROUP BREAKS UP, DINO WILL URGE SUSU TO START HER OWN BAND. SHE'LL DO SO ONLY LONG ENOUGH TO CUT THIS SOLO ALBUM. AT THE FIRST SESSION, SHE COVERS CLASSIC ROCKERS BY ELVIS, TRINI LÓPEZ, EDDIE COCHRAN, THE CHAMPS, THE STRAY CATS AND KC + THE SUNSHINE BAND.
JULY 22 - 24, 2086
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
A WITCH QUEEN PRODUCTION
IN ASSOCIATION WITH DEAN STAFFORD PRODUCTIONS
ALBUM SESSIONS
THE RIGHT TO ROCK!
LANA SUZUKI + FRIENDS:
*DONNA DANTE SHARMA
**FAST FLOSSIE
***MAL + THE HYPSTERZ
WITH FONZI NERO (RHYTHM GUITAR),
SEIJO NAGASAKI (BASS),
STOMPIE WINCHESTER
(KEYBOARDS/MUSIC DIRECTION),
LADDY MAXX (DRUMS),
MAL HYPSTER (PERCUSSION),
+ THE HYPSTERZ (BACKING VOCALS)
PRODUCER: DEAN STAFFORD
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS:
MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI
SOUND ENGINEER:
SONNY YIN-BAO
ROCKIN' BONES (CARTER, NALLS, RHODES)*
Instrumental: ROCK-A-HULA BABY
(FULLER, WEISMAN, WISE)
ROCK ME GENTLY (ANDY KIM)**
Instrumental: ROCK LOBSTER (THE B-52s)
I AM A ROCK (PAUL SIMON)***
Instrumental: ROCK THE CASBAH (THE CLASH)
EVERY SELECTION CHOSEN FOR THIS PROJECT IS A CLASSIC POP SONG WITH THE WORD "ROCK" IN ITS TITLE. THE SECOND ALBUM SESSION FEATURES SONGS ORIGINATED BY RONNIE DAWSON, ELVIS, ANDY KIM, THE B-52s, SIMON AND GARFUNKEL AND THE CLASH. SUSU'S FAVORITE BACKING VOCAL GROUP FAST FLOSSIE, HER FORMER BANDMATE DEE DEE (SADLY, NOW THE WIDOW OF RAMSAY KHALID SHARMA), HER ADOPTED BROTHER CHI AND RIKKI NINJA'S SONS FONZI AND SEIJO JOIN HER IN THE STUDIO. MUCH TO HER DELIGHT, SO DOES HER TEENAGE SON LADDY! THE ALBUM ALSO FEATURES SOME TALENTED NEW ARTISTS THAT DEAN STAFFORD RECOMMENDS. COLLEGE PODCASTERS WILL TURN THE RIGHT TO ROCK! INTO AN UNDERGROUND SMASH, BUT THAT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ALBUM'S POPULARITY. RATHER THAN GO ON THE ROAD TO PROMOTE IT, LANA SUZUKI OPTS TO GRACEFULLY STEP BACK INTO RETIREMENT.
FEBRUARY 5 - 9, 2091
WITCH QUEEN WEST, SALT LAKE CITY
REMIX SESSIONS
A WITCH QUEEN PRODUCTION
NEW ARCHIES HIT KIT
REMIX PRODUCER: SALEM SABERHAGEN
REMIX ENGINEER: SONNY YIN-BAO
ROCK-A-POLKA (BOB + DICK SHERMAN)*
WIGGLE ON OUT (JACK SCOTT)
LADY JANE (JAMES, KING)
PROMISE ME ANYTHING (HEMRIC, STYNER)*
CAN'T BREAK THE HABIT (DOZIER, HOLLAND)
SAUSALITO (GRAHAM GOULDMAN)*
HUMPTY DUMPTY (COHEN, ROSTELLI)*
ELI'S COMIN' (LAURA NYRO)
AMAZING (CICCONE, WAINWRIGHT)*
FAMILY OF MAN (CONRAD, WILLIAMS)
I JUST WANNA KEEP IT TOGETHER (PAUL DAVIS)*
RUNNING IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE
(BROWN, GORDY, STORY)
HEY, MAMA! (PAUL ANKA)*
TIGHTER! (JAMES, KING)
SPEND SOME TIME LOVIN' ME
(ATKINS, MILLER)*
MAMA CAN'T BUY YOU LOVE
(BELL, JAMES)
IN THE YEAR 2059, VOX SOUND + IMAGE BUYS UP REPUBLIC USA, THE CONGLOMERATE THAT CONTROLS MASTER TAPES BY THE NEW ARCHIES. IN 2090, VOX WILL ADD BLUE CAT RECORDS TO ITS HOLDINGS, MAKING A CROSS-LABEL COMPILATION POSSIBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME. BLUE CAT'S FORMER CEO SALEM SABERHAGEN AND HIS HUSBAND, PRODUCER SONNY YIN-BAO WILL COMPILE IT. THE COUPLE CHOOSES SIXTEEN NEW ARCHIES TRACKS TO REMIX FOR NONA-MILLENNIAL EARS. HOWEVER, HALF OF THE MIXES ARE ACTUALLY DONE BY BREE SPELLMAN! AFTER SONNY COMPLETES HIS WORK, SABRINA USES SORCERY TO ACCESS HIS COMPILATION MASTER. LATER, HE'S DUMBFOUNDED WHEN THESE UNFAMILIAR VERSIONS (DENOTED BY AN ASTERISK) SHOW UP ON THE RELEASED RECORD! EVERYONE IS BAFFLED EXCEPT FOR SALEM (WHO NEVERTHELESS PLEADS IGNORANCE) AND THE SURVIVING MEMBERS OF THE NEW ARCHIES. MAL HYPSTER, LANA SUZUKI AND RIKKI NINJA WILL AGREE: "THAT'S JUST LIKE BREE, ISN'T IT? SHE CAN NEVER RESIST HAVING THE FINAL SAY." PREDICTABLY, THE NEW COLLLECTION, MAGIC REMIXES AND ALL, WILL TOP BILLBOARD'S CATALOG ALBUM CHART! IT'S THE FINAL "WITCH QUEEN PRODUCTION".
RITCHIE "RIKKI NINJA" FONSECA
IS KEYBOARD PLAYER FOR THE NEW ARCHIES. HE ALSO SERVES AS THE BAND'S MUSIC DIRECTOR FROM 2037 T0 2047 AND ITS CO-PRODUCER FROM 2047 TO 2049.
ART BY STUFFED ANIMAL
TEXT BY HAMPTON JACOBS
FASHIONS BY NERO THE DOG
A MARVELOUS LIE PRODUCTION
POP CULTURE CANTINA STAFF HOPES THAT
EVERYONE HAD A SAFE AND HAPPY 2021 GAY PRIDE MONTH.
