Archie's TV Funnies

Video Makes The Rock 'n' Roll Star
A R C H I E   O N   T V !
DC Hampton Jacobs spotlights
television productions starring
The Archies

ARCHIES UNPLUGGED

PROMO FOR MTV'S 2033 "ARCHIES UNPLUGGED" SPECIAL

Having their own TV cartoon series (airing from 1988 to 1991 in our Pop Culture Cantina timeline) made The Archies unique among Rock groups.  It gave the Riverdale teenagers the kind of promotional vehicle most artists could only dream of!  Others were jealous of their overnight success, but cartoon fame ended up being a double-edged sword.  The show strongly typecast The Archies as "Bubblegum" rockers, and by the time it went off the air, they were considered worse than yesterday's news!  Climbing back to the top with that kind of stigma attached wasn't easy, but with help from their new manager Nicholas "Big Nipsy" Freund, Archie, Betty, Juggy, Veronica and Reggie defied the odds; and not only did they redefine themselves as grown-up musicians, they made a triumphant return to television.   

During the lifespan of Archie Records (2000-2015), The Archies made many TV appearances all over the world. These ranged from live performances to music videos to guest slots on TV series to bit parts in televised musical productions. Three times, they headlined TV specials of their very own.  Big Nipsy was relentless in landing radio and TV gigs for them: That media exposure was a defensive maneuver against lingering airplay barriers. "Bubblegum Rock" stigma continues to dog the band to this day!

US OF ARCHIE

ARCHIE FAN CLUB PROMO FOR THE LIMITED-EDITION
"US OF ARCHIE" TV SOUNDTRACK ALBUM 


There were actually four TV specials starring the adult Archies, but only three were produced by them.  All of those were telecast in North America.  The first was "U.S. of Archie", a 90-minute concert taped in Florida; it was one of many USO performances that The Archies logged over two decades.  This time, they entertained over two-thousand enlisted men and women at the Patrick Air Force Base Beach House; their hard-rocking repertoire, consisting of hits by Chuck Berry, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Rolling Stones, was tailored for that audience.  Big Ethel + The Vixens, Chuck Clayton and Big-Ass Brass featuring Rey Cochino also took the stage.  Telecast on an obscure cable network on July 1st, 2003, the show wasn't seen by many people and isn't well-remembered.  However, the performances were outstanding and several were subsequently added to Armed Forces Radio playlists.  Over the years, the Beach House concert has acquired legendary status among Archies fans!  The "U.S. of Archie" soundtrack was issued on a rare Archie Fan Club album but will be marketed worldwide in the 22nd century, after the Walt Disney Company acquires the rights. 

"U.S. of Archie"
An Archie Americana/AFT Production
Producer for Armed Forces Television: 
CAPTAIN DRAKE J. HAVISHAM
Producer for Archie Americana Productions:
NICHOLAS FREUND
Director: RAJ PATEL
starring THE ARCHIES:
ARCHIE ANDREWS, BETTY JONES, JUGGY JONES,
RONI LODGE-ANDREWS, REGGIE MANTLE
with CHUCK CLAYTON, music director
Special Guest Stars:
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS,
REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS


Intro: RIP IT UP (AROUND THE BEND)
(Blackwell, Maniscalco/John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE
with BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS
START ME UP! 
(Jagger, Richards) 
THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
WHO'S YOUR BABY?(Barry, Kim)
THE ARCHIES
featuring ARCHIE + VERONICA
PROUD MARY 
(John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY + JUGHEAD
SURFER'S MEDLEY:
Dance To The Surfin' Band (Hal Blaine)/
On The Beach (Marvin, Richard, Webb)/
Shoot The Curl (Blake, Rovell)/
Beach Girl (Johnston, Melcher)/
Hawaii 5.0 (Hilton, Stevens)
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with REGGIE*
BAD MOON RISING 
(John Fogerty)
CHUCK CLAYTON
ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN 
(Chuck Berry)
CHUCK CLAYTON with BIG-ASS BRASS
+ THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE + REGGIE
SIMON SAYS 
(Tony Michaels)
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS
BOY FROM CROSSTOWN
(Feldman, Goldstein, Gottehrer)
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with VERONICA*
JUMPIN' JACK FLASH 
(Jagger, Richards)
THE ARCHIES
featuring BETTY + VERONICA

TRAVELIN' BAND 
(John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE
FORTUNATE SON
(John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
THE BLAXICAN SHUFFLE (ON LONELY WEEKENDS)
(Sol Lake/Charlie Rich)
REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS 
+ THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE
TIME IS ON MY SIDE
(Norman, Ragovoy)
THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY + JUGHEAD
IN THE DARK
(Billy Squier)
THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE*
GREEN RIVER 
(John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY
NADINE (IS THAT YOU?) 
(Chuck Berry)
THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
DOWN ON THE CORNER 
(John Fogerty)
THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE 
LODI (John Fogerty)
CHUCK CLAYTON
DRAGSTER'S MEDLEY:
Draggin' Wagon (Berry, Taylor)/
Red Corvette (Barry, Raleigh)/
Ride! Ride! Ride! (Jeff Barry)/
Little Honda (Love, Wilson)/
Yellow Van (Allan, Dante)
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with JUGHEAD*
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN?
(John Fogerty)
CHUCK CLAYTON with BETTY
SUGAR, SUGAR 
(Barry, Kim)
THE ARCHIES
featuring ARCHIE + VERONICA
LOOKIN' OUT MY BACK DOOR
(John Fogerty)
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS
WHEN I STOP LEAVIN', I'LL BE GONE
(Kent Robbins)
THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
Finale: 
AS LONG AS I CAN SEE THE LIGHT
(John Fogerty)
CHUCK CLAYTON, BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS,
REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS + THE ARCHIES 
featuring VERONICA + BETTY
*These performances will only appear on the deluxe version of the soundtrack, 
to be released in the year 2144

THE ARCHIES SALUTE LAURA NYRO

PROMO FOR THE 2032 PBS-TV SPECIAL "FOREVER LAURA NYRO"

The other two American specials are hour-long telecasts, and these will be much better known.  "Forever Laura Nyro", produced by Archie Americana Productions and licensed to the PBS network, will be a tribute to Archie's favorite songwriter.  Ironically, Archie will be unable to appear due to illness; his place is ably filled by former Archie Reggie "Gino" Mantle.  The show will broadcast live from Austin, Texas in December 2032.  Highlights include Juggy Jones' fiery rendition of "Eli's Comin'", a sassy Betty Cooper/Toni Topaz duet on "Stoned Soul Picnic", Kevin Keller's exuberant same-sex spin on "Wedding Bell Blues" and Roni Lodge-Andrews' exquisite medley of "He's A Runner" and "Goodbye, Joe."  Public Television will hold the rights to this critically-acclaimed concert for thirty years; the DVD/CD will be one of their most popular fundraising perks! 

"Forever Laura Nyro"
An Austin City Limits Special
Producer for PBS Television:
TOVAH MARGULIES
Producer/Director for Archie Americana Productions: 
HEATHER McGILLICUDDY
starring THE ARCHIES:
BETTY COOPER, JUGGY JONES, KEVIN KELLER 
RONI LODGE-ANDREWS, REGGIE MANTLE,
TONI TOPAZ
with FOX PRINTEMPS, music director

WEDDING BELL BLUES
Lead vocals by Kevin
THE FLIM FLAM MAN
Lead vocals by Betty
SWEET BLINDNESS
Lead vocals by Toni
TIME AND LOVE
Duet vocals by Veronica + Kevin
CALIFORNIA SHOESHINE BOYS
Lead vocals by Reggie
STONED SOUL PICNIC
Duet vocals by Toni + Betty
ELI'S COMIN'
Lead vocals by Jughead
EMMIE
Lead vocals by Kevin
BLOWIN' AWAY
Lead vocals by Reggie
MEDLEY:
HE'S A RUNNER/GOODBYE, JOE

Lead vocals by Veronica
FREEPORT AND THE MAIN DRAG
Trio vocals by Veronica, Betty + Toni
STONEY END
Lead vocals by Betty
AND WHEN I DIE
Lead vocals by Juggy
SAVE THE COUNTRY
ensemble vocal
all selections written by Laura Nyro

Four months later in May 2033, MTV will document the band's final bow on the small screen.  Another Archie Americana production, this "Unplugged" concert will be pre-recorded at Holy Family Roman Catholic Church in Staten Island, New York.  Strumming guitars in a semi-circle and dressed in casual clothes, The Archies will exchange jokes, cherished memories and snippets of favorite songs including golden oldies by Jeff Barry, Ron Dante, Neil Diamond, Jackie DeShannon, Paul Simon, Carole King and The Bee Gees.  Laid-back atmosphere notwithstanding, all the musical content is well-rehearsed, and the group members' dazzling vocal performances enrapture an SRO audience.  Several extended standing ovations precede a final thunderous outpouring of admiration at the show's finale!  This will be the last time that Archie Andrews sings in public.

"Archies Unplugged!"
An MTV Special
Producer for MTV: 
ZION-JAVIER CÁRDENAS
Producer/Director for Archie Americana Productions: 
HEATHER McGILLICUDDY
starring THE ARCHIES:
ARCHIE ANDREWS, BETTY COOPER, JUGGY JONES,
KEVIN KELLER, RONI LODGE-ANDREWS,
TONI TOPAZ
with FOX PRINTEMPS, music director

Monologue: Archie Andrews
EVERYTHING'S ARCHIE (Jeff Barry)
Ensemble vocal
RON DANTE MEDLEY:
BUILDING WITH A STEEPLE (Allan, Dante)
Duet vocals by Veronica + Betty/
LET'S GET IT ON TODAY (Adams, Dante)
Duet vocals by Archie + Kevin/
DON'T CALL IT LOVE (Allan, Dante)
Duet vocals by Jughead + Kevin/
GOD BLESS ROCK 'N' ROLL (Dante, Greenfield)
Trio vocals by Archie, Jughead + Kevin
Monologue: Jughead
NEIL DIAMOND MEDLEY:
CHERRY, CHERRY/YOU GOT TO ME/
SOMEDAY, BABY/I'M A BELIEVER
(Neil Diamond)
Duet vocals by Jughead + Archie
RIVER-DEEP, MOUNTAIN-HIGH
(Barry, Greenwich, Spector)
Ensemble vocal
LOVE OF THE COMMON PEOPLE
(Hurley, Wilkins)
Ensemble vocal
EVERYBODY (Tommy Roe)
Lead vocals by Jughead
SOUL DEEP SKA
(Wayne Carson Thompson)
Duet vocals by Archie + Toni
THROW DOWN A LINE! 
(Hank Marvin)
Duet vocals by Toni + Betty
Monologue: Betty Cooper
WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM
(Jackie DeShannon)
Lead vocals by Betty
SUGAR, SUGAR en Español
(Barry, Kim, Milstein)
Duet vocals by Archie + Veronica
Monologue: 
Archie + Veronica Lodge-Andrews
GIRL! 
(D'Aleo, Milano)
Lead vocals by Kevin
MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION (Paul Simon)
Lead vocals by Toni
Monologue: Archie Andrews
BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY
(Dorsey + Johnny Burnette)
Lead vocals by Archie
A LA LINEA/GET ON THE LINE
(Barry, San Quentín, Smith)
Lead vocals by Archie
BARRY GIBB MEDLEY:
FANNY BE TENDER (The Bee Gees)
Lead vocals by Kevin/
GREASE (Barry Gibb)
Lead vocals by Jughead/
GIVE + TAKE A HAND (Barry + Maurice Gibb)
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU (The Bee Gees)
Lead vocals by Betty/
SHADOW DANCING (The Bee Gees, Gibb)
Duet vocals by Kevin + Jughead/
TO LOVE SOMEBODY (Barry + Robin Gibb)
Trio vocals by Betty, Jughead + Kevin
GOFFIN + KING MEDLEY:
ONE FINE DAY
Lead vocals by Kevin/
CHAINS
Lead vocals by Veronica/
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW?
Lead vocals by Archie
(Goffin, King)
Monologue: The Archies
SEVENTEEN AIN'T YOUNG (Jeff Barry)
Trio vocals by Archie, Betty + Veronica
Finale: 
SHADES OF GRAY/
MAKE YOUR OWN KIND OF MUSIC
(Mann, Weil)
Ensemble vocal

FURY IN MY SOUL

THE SOUNDTRACK TO "FOREVER LAURA NYRO" 
WILL BE RELEASED ON VINYL IN THE YEAR 2060


However, those end-of-career showcases are preceded by a bi-lingual TV spectacular: "Hits Of The Sixties"!  This 2012 promotional vehicle for the album of the same name was taped in Italy.  Contrary to popular belief, it was not tied in with The Archies' Hits Of The Sixties tour; the program was produced several months after that tour had ended. The group was in Italy to compete at the famous San Remo Music Festival.  Even though they only managed to win fourth place, their AfroPop-flavored entry "Twerk Signorina", was clearly the crowd favorite!  Afterwards, they flew into Rome for videotaping at Cinecittà, Italy's world-famous media complex.  The group was at its peak of popularity with Italian fans, and RAI Television's news division wanted to take advantage of that.  Their televised collaboration would prove lucrative for both parties.

HOTS ITALIAN TV SPECIAL_1

ITALIAN PROMO FOR THE 2012 ROCK-UMENTARY
"HITS OF THE SIXTIES" STARRING THE ARCHIES

The show was a semi-documentary that blended 1960s newscast footage with musical segments. The Archies shot those segments live in front of a studio audience. The group's nuevo-retro stage costumes generated nearly as much praise as the performances did; they were designed by Donatella Granito, a soon-to-be-world-famous couturier. Donatella is a distant cousin of Ron Dante, The Archies' former producer and studio mentor. Mr. D happened to be in Italy at this time, and at Archie's request, he graciously agreed to serve as music director for the program.

Despite its considerable entertainment value, the show is a legitimate historical document.  It's best described as "Rock-umentary", a mash-up of ABC-TV's 1964-6 Rock 'n' Roll variety series "Shindig" with CBS-TV's long-running educational omnibus "You Are There".  As go-go dancers in vintage '60s fashions struck poses and gyrated around them, The Archies set important events like the Kennedy assassinations, the erection of the Berlin Wall, the American Civil Rights struggle, the Vietnam war, 1968 riots, the Woodstock festival, Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech and the first Apollo moon landing to a gorgeous music soundtrack composed by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil.  

Cameras captured "Hits Of The Sixties" in early January 2012 and it aired one month later in Italy. Ratings were so good, the special was re-broadcast several times; it was seen in Albania, Switzerland, Malta, Croatia and Slovenia as well as Italy. Despite persistent demand from Archies fans, this bi-lingual (Italian/English) production won't appear in DVD format until the mid-twenty-second century.  By that time, the Walt Disney Company will have acquired television rights.  Bootlegs will have to suffice until then!

"Hits Of The Sixties"
TV Special (Italy)
Producer: RAI Internazionale
Director: ORNELLA BARBUTO
Hosts:
CURTIZ MASTRANGELO, NICOLETTA TOMMASI
starring THE ARCHIES:
ARCHIE ANDREWS, BETTY JONES, JUGGY JONES,
RONI LODGE-ANDREWS, REGGIE MANTLE,
TREVOR SMITH
with RON DANTE, music director

IT'S A HAPPENING WORLD
Duet vocals by Archie + Veronica
ON BROADWAY*
Quartet vocals by Archie, Jughead, Reggie + Trevor
BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA
Lead vocals by Reggie
UPTOWN
Lead vocals by Betty
CHICO'S GIRL
Lead vocals by Veronica
LOOKING THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE
Lead vocals by Reggie
WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Duet vocals by Archie + Trevor
LOOKING AT TOMORROW
Lead vocals by Trevor

HOTS TV SPECIAL COSTUMES

DONATELLA GRANITO AND SALON ZAZU
STYLED THE ARCHIES FOR THEIR
2012 ITALIAN TV SPECIAL

NEW WORLD COMIN'
Lead vocals by Veronica
I JUST CAN'T HELP BELIEVIN'
Lead vocals by Jughead
KICKS
Lead vocals by Trevor
GLITTER AND GOLD
Duet vocals by Archie + Trevor
THINGS 2 COME
Quartet vocals by Archie, Jughead, Reggie and Trevor
YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN'**
Lead vocals by Veronica
HOME OF THE BRAVE
Lead vocals by Betty
MAKE YOUR OWN KIND OF MUSIC
Ensemble vocal
all selections written by Barry Mann + Cynthia Weil
except *co-written by Jerry Leiber + Mike Stoller
and **co-written by Phil Spector

Honorable mention must be given to Archie Radio, an Archie Americana production for the Republic Satellite Network.  One hour specials aired twice a week for twelve weeks between September and November of 2013.  The Archies performed their hits live-in-studio and hosted guest stars including Josie + The Pussy Cats, Olguita and Reginald, Blue-Eyed Soul, Ralfi Chingas and the Dilton Doiley Briseño Tejano Band.  Most of the performances were filmed but aside from promotional clips that footage will never be released.  By mid-century, it will be presumed lost. 

One year after the final broadcast, the sale of Archie Records to media conglomerate Republic International was announced; negotiations had begun while Archie Radio was still on the air! Opting not to cut masters for Republic's CEO, notorious corporate raider Jason Blossom, The Archies went on hiatus for what will turn out to be fifteen long years.  They'll reform in the year 2027 to record an album for Atlantic Records, briefly go back on hiatus and then return in 2029 to make their last public appearances.  A blockbuster 2037 concert documentary will cement their icon status forever.  For their many fans around the world, the filmed images that The Archies leave behind will be just as essential as their body of recorded work.  That's altogether fitting, since most people first met them in cartoon form!

ARCHIE IN NEW ORLEANS COLLAGE

STILLS TAKEN FROM FILMED ARCHIE RADIO SEGMENTS
WILL APPEAR IN A PROMO FOR THE 2099 COMPILATION 
ARCHIE IN NEW ORLEANS

This special feature is dedicated to some great songwriters whose music proved powerful enough to preserve the sanity of a homeless writer/artist: God bless Ritchie Adams, Gene Allan, Jeff Barry, Carole Bayer-Sager, Bobby Bloom, Ron Dante, Ellie Greenwich, Mick Jagger, Andy Kim, Irwin Levine, Barry Mann, Keith Richards, Cynthia Weil and Toni Wine!