Archie's TV Funnies

Video Makes The Rock 'n' Roll Star

A R C H I E ' S   T V   F U N N I E S

Hampton Jacobs spotlights

television productions starring

The Archies

PROMO FOR MTV'S 2033 "ARCHIES UNPLUGGED" SPECIAL

Having their own TV cartoon series (airing from 1988 to 1991 in our Pop Culture Cantina timeline) made The Archies unique among Rock groups.  It gave the Riverdale teenagers the kind of promotional vehicle most artists could only dream of!  Others were jealous of their overnight success, but cartoon fame ended up being a double-edged sword.  The show strongly typecast The Archies as "Bubblegum" rockers, and by the time it went off the air, they were considered worse than yesterday's news!  Climbing back to the top with that kind of stigma attached wasn't easy, but with help from their new manager Nicholas "Big Nipsy" Freund, Archie, Betty, Juggy, Veronica and Reggie defied the odds; and not only did they redefine themselves as grown-up musicians, they made a triumphant return to television.   

ARCHIE FAN CLUB PROMO FOR THE 

LIMITED-EDITION "US OF ARCHIE" 

TV SOUNDTRACK ALBUM 

The maiden Archies TV special was "Archie + His New Pals", a mix of animation and live-action footage that aired in 1989 on the Fox network.  During the lifespan of Archie Records (2000-2015), the band headlined TV specials three times. Actually, there were four TV specials starring The Archies, but only three were produced by them; all of those were telecast in North America.  

The first was "U.S. of Archie", a 90-minute concert taped in Florida; it was one of many USO performances that The Archies logged over two decades.  They entertained over two-thousand enlisted men and women at the Patrick Air Force Base Beach House; their hard-rocking repertoire, consisting of hits by Chuck Berry, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Rolling Stones, was tailored for that audience. Big Ethel + The Vixens, Chuck Clayton and Big-Ass Brass featuring Rey Cochino also took the stage. 

 Telecast on an obscure cable network on July 1st, 2003, the show wasn't seen by many people and isn't well-remembered.  However, the performances were outstanding and several were subsequently added to Armed Forces Radio playlists.  Over the years, the Beach House concert has acquired legendary status among Archies fans!  The "U.S. of Archie" soundtrack was issued on a rare Archie Fan Club album but will be marketed worldwide in the 22nd century, after the Walt Disney Company acquires the rights. 

"U.S. of Archie"
An Archie Americana/AFT Production
Producer for Armed Forces Television: 
CAPTAIN DRAKE J. HAVISHAM
Producer for Archie Americana Productions:

NICHOLAS FREUND
Director: RAJ PATEL
starring THE ARCHIES:

Special Guest Stars:

CHUCK CLAYTON,
BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS +
REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS

Intro: RIP IT UP (AROUND THE BEND)
(Blackwell, Maniscalco/John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE

with BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS
START ME UP! (Jagger, Richards) 

THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD

WHO'S YOUR BABY?(Barry, Kim)

THE ARCHIES

featuring ARCHIE + VERONICA
PROUD MARY (John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY + JUGHEAD

SURFER'S MEDLEY:

Dance To The Surfin' Band (Hal Blaine)/

On The Beach (Marvin, Richard, Webb)/

Shoot The Curl (Blake, Rovell)/

Beach Girl (Johnston, Melcher)/

Hawaii 5.0 (Hilton, Stevens)

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with REGGIE*

BAD MOON RISING 
(John Fogerty)

CHUCK CLAYTON
ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN 
(Chuck Berry)

CHUCK CLAYTON with BIG-ASS BRASS

+ THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE + REGGIE

SIMON SAYS 
(Tony Michaels)

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS

BOY FROM CROSSTOWN

(Feldman, Goldstein, Gottehrer)

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with VERONICA*
JUMPIN' JACK FLASH 
(Jagger, Richards)

THE ARCHIES
featuring BETTY + VERONICA
TRAVELIN' BAND 
(John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE
FORTUNATE SON
(John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
THE BLAXICAN SHUFFLE (ON LONELY WEEKENDS)
(Sol Lake/Charlie Rich)

REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS 
+ THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE

TIME IS ON MY SIDE

(Norman, Ragovoy)

THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY + JUGHEAD

IN THE DARK

(Billy Squier)

THE ARCHIES featuring ARCHIE*
GREEN RIVER 
(John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring BETTY
NADINE (IS THAT YOU?) 
(Chuck Berry)

THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
DOWN ON THE CORNER 
(John Fogerty)

THE ARCHIES featuring REGGIE 
LODI (John Fogerty)

CHUCK CLAYTON

DRAGSTER'S MEDLEY:

Draggin' Wagon (Berry, Taylor)/

Red Corvette (Barry, Raleigh)/

Ride! Ride! Ride! (Jeff Barry)/

Little Honda (Love, Wilson)/

Yellow Van (Allan, Dante)

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS with JUGHEAD*

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN?
(John Fogerty)

CHUCK CLAYTON with BETTY

SUGAR, SUGAR 
(Barry, Kim)

THE ARCHIES

featuring ARCHIE + VERONICA

LOOKIN' OUT MY BACK DOOR
(John Fogerty)

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS

WHEN I STOP LEAVIN', I'LL BE GONE
(Kent Robbins)

THE ARCHIES featuring JUGHEAD
Finale: 

AS LONG AS I CAN SEE THE LIGHT
(John Fogerty)

CHUCK CLAYTON, 

BIG ETHEL + THE VIXENS,
REY COCHINO with BIG-ASS BRASS + 

THE ARCHIES 

featuring VERONICA + BETTY

*These performances will only appear on the deluxe version of the soundtrack, to be released in the year 2144

PROMO FOR THE 2032 PBS-TV SPECIAL "FOREVER LAURA NYRO"

The other two American specials are hour-long telecasts, and these will be much better known.  "Forever Laura Nyro", produced by Archie Americana Productions and licensed to the PBS network, will be a tribute to Archie's favorite Sixties songwriter.  Ironically, Archie will be unable to appear due to illness; his place is ably filled by former Archie Reggie "Gino" Mantle.  The show will broadcast live from Austin, Texas in December 2032.  

Highlights include Juggy Jones' fiery rendition of "Eli's Comin'", a sassy Betty Cooper/Toni Topaz duet on "Stoned Soul Picnic", Kevin Keller's exuberant same-sex spins on "Stoney End" and "Wedding Bell Blues" and Roni Lodge-Andrews' exquisite medley of "He's A Runner" and "Goodbye, Joe."  Public Television will hold the rights to this critically-acclaimed concert for thirty years; the DVD/CD will be one of their most popular fundraising perks! 

"Forever Laura Nyro"
An Austin City Limits Special
Producer for PBS Television:

TOVAH MARGULIES
Producer/Director for 

Archie Americana Productions: 
HEATHER McGILLICUDDY
starring THE ARCHIES:

Music Directed by FOX PRINTEMPS

WEDDING BELL BLUES
Lead vocals by Kelly
THE FLIM FLAM MAN
Lead vocals by Betty
SWEET BLINDNESS
Duet vocals by Betty + Toni
TIME AND LOVE
Duet vocals by Veronica + Kevin
CALIFORNIA SHOESHINE BOYS
Lead vocals by Reggie
STONED SOUL PICNIC
Duet vocals by Betty + Toni
ELI'S COMIN'
Lead vocals by Jughead
EMMIE
Lead vocals by Kelly
BLOWIN' AWAY
Trio vocals by Veronica, Betty + Toni
MEDLEY:
HE'S A RUNNER/GOODBYE, JOE
Lead vocals by Veronica

FREEPORT AND THE MAIN DRAG

Lead vocals by Toni
STONEY END
Lead vocals by Kelly
AND WHEN I DIE
Lead vocals by Juggy
SAVE THE COUNTRY
ensemble vocal
all selections written by 

Laura Nyro

Four months later in May 2033, MTV will document the band's final bow on the small screen.  Another Archie Americana Production, this "Unplugged" concert will be pre-recorded at Holy Family Roman Catholic Church in Staten Island, New York.  Strumming guitars in a semi-circle and dressed in casual clothes, The Archies will exchange jokes, cherished memories and snippets of favorite songs including golden oldies by Jeff Barry, Ron Dante, Neil Diamond, Jackie DeShannon, Paul Simon, Carole King and The Bee Gees.  

Laid-back atmosphere notwithstanding, all of the musical content is well-rehearsed, and the group members' dazzling vocal performances enrapture an SRO audience! Several extended standing ovations precede a final thunderous outpouring of admiration at the show's finale; this will be the very last time that Archie Andrews sings in public.

"Archie Unplugged!"
An MTV Special
Producer for MTV: 

ZION-JAVIER CÁRDENAS

Producer/Director for 

Archie Americana Productions: 
HEATHER McGILLICUDDY
starring THE ARCHIES

Music Directed by FOX PRINTEMPS

Monologue: ARCHIE ANDREWS

EVERYTHING'S ARCHIE (Jeff Barry)

Ensemble vocal

RON DANTE MEDLEY:

BUILDING WITH A STEEPLE (Allan, Dante)

Trio vocals by Veronica + Betty + Toni/

LET'S GET IT ON TODAY! (Adams, Dante)

Duet vocals by Archie + Kelly/

DON'T CALL IT LOVE! (Allan, Dante)

Duet vocals by Jughead + Kelly/

GOD BLESS ROCK 'N' ROLL (Dante, Greenfield)

Trio vocals by Archie, Jughead + Kelly
Monologue: JUGHEAD

NEIL DIAMOND MEDLEY:
CHERRY, CHERRY/YOU GOT TO ME/
SOMEDAY, BABY/I'M A BELIEVER

(Neil Diamond)
Trio vocals by Archie, Jughead + Kelly
RIVER-DEEP, MOUNTAIN-HIGH
(Barry, Greenwich, Spector)
Ensemble vocal

LOVE OF THE COMMON PEOPLE
(Hurley, Wilkins)
Duet vocal by Archie + Toni

EVERYBODY (Tommy Roe)

Lead vocals by Jughead
SOUL DEEP SKA
(Wayne Carson Thompson)

Duet vocals by Archie + Toni
THROW DOWN A LINE! (Hank Marvin)

Duet vocals by Toni + Betty

Monologue: BETTY COOPRE
WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM
(Jackie DeShannon)
Lead vocals by Betty

SUGAR, SUGAR en Español
(Barry, Kim, Milstein)

Duet vocals by Archie + Veronica

Monologue: 

ARCHIE + VERONICA
GIRL! (D'Aleo, Milano)

Lead vocals by Kelly
MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION (Paul Simon)
Lead vocals by Toni

Monologue: Archie Andrews

BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY
(Dorsey + Johnny Burnette)

Lead vocals by Archie
A LA LINEA/GET ON THE LINE
(Barry, San Quentín, Smith)

Lead vocals by Archie
BARRY GIBB MEDLEY:
FANNY BE TENDER (The Bee Gees)

Lead vocals by Kelly/

GREASE (Barry Gibb)

Lead vocals by Jughead/
GIVE + TAKE A HAND (Barry + Maurice Gibb)/

IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU (The Bee Gees)

Lead vocals by Betty/

SHADOW DANCING (The Bee Gees, Gibb)

Duet vocals by Jughead + Kelly/

TO LOVE SOMEBODY (Barry + Robin Gibb)

Trio vocals by Veronica, Betty + Toni
GOFFIN + KING MEDLEY:

ONE FINE DAY
Lead vocals by Kelly/

CHAINS

Lead vocals by Veronica/

WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW?

Lead vocals by Archie
(Goffin, King)

Rap Session: THE ARCHIES
SEVENTEEN AIN'T YOUNG (Jeff Barry)

Duet vocals by Archie + Betty
Finale: 

SHADES OF GRAY/

MAKE YOUR OWN KIND OF MUSIC
(Mann, Weil)
Ensemble vocal

THE SOUNDTRACK TO 

"FOREVER LAURA NYRO" 
WILL BE RELEASED ON VINYL 

IN THE YEAR 2060

However, those end-of-career showcases will be preceded by a bi-lingual TV spectacular: "Hits Of The Sixties"!  This 2012 promotional vehicle for the album of the same name was taped in Italy.  Contrary to popular belief, it was not tied in with The Archies' Hits Of The Sixties tour; the program was produced several months after that tour had ended. The group was in Italy to compete at the famous San Remo Music Festival.  Even though they only managed to win fourth place, their Afro Pop-flavored entry "Twerk Signorina", was clearly the crowd favorite!  Afterwards, they flew into Rome for videotaping at Cinecittà, Italy's world-famous media complex.  The group was at its peak of popularity with Italian fans, and RAI Television's news division wanted to take advantage of that.  Their televised collaboration would prove lucrative for both parties.

ITALIAN PROMO FOR THE 2012 

ROCK-UMENTARY "HITS OF THE SIXTIES" STARRING THE ARCHIES

The show was a semi-documentary that blended 1960s newscast footage with musical segments. The Archies shot those segments live in front of a studio audience! The group's nuevo-retro stage costumes generated nearly as much praise as the performances did; they were customized for The Archies by Donatella Granito, a soon-to-be-world-famous couturier. Donatella is a distant cousin of Ron Dante, the band's former producer and studio mentor. Mr. D happened to be in Italy at this time, and at Archie's request, he graciously agreed to serve as music director for the program.

Despite its considerable entertainment value, the show is a legitimate historical document.  It's best described as "Rock-umentary", a mash-up of ABC-TV's 1964-6 Rock 'n' Roll variety series "Shindig" with CBS-TV's long-running educational omnibus "You Are There".  As go-go dancers in vintage '60s fashions struck poses and gyrated around them, The Archies set important events like the Kennedy assassinations, the erection of the Berlin Wall, the American Civil Rights struggle, the Vietnam war, 1968 riots, the Woodstock festival, Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech and the first Apollo moon landing to a gorgeous music soundtrack composed by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil.  

Cameras captured "Hits Of The Sixties" in January 2012 and it aired one month later in Italy. Ratings were so good, the special was re-broadcast several times; it was seen all over Europe and as far way as Morocco and Tunisia. Despite persistent demand from Archies fans, this bi-lingual (Italian/English) production won't appear in DVD format until the mid-twenty-second century. By that time, the Walt Disney Company will have acquired television rights.  Bootlegs will have to suffice until then!

"Hits Of The Sixties"

TV Special (Italy)

Producer: RAI Internazionale

Director: ORNELLA BARBUTO

Hosts:

CURTIZ MASTRANGELO, NICOLETTA TOMMASI

starring THE ARCHIES:

Music Directed by RON DANTE

IT'S A HAPPENING WORLD
Duet vocals by Archie + Veronica
ON BROADWAY*
Quartet vocals by Archie, Jughead, Reggie + Trevor
BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA
Lead vocals by Reggie
UPTOWN
Lead vocals by Betty
CHICO'S GIRL
Lead vocals by Veronica
LOOKING THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE
Lead vocals by Reggie
WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Duet vocals by Archie + Trevor
LOOKING AT TOMORROW
Lead vocals by Trevor

DONATELLA GRANITO AND SALON ZAZU

STYLED THE ARCHIES FOR THEIR

2012 ITALIAN TV SPECIAL

NEW WORLD COMIN'

Lead vocals by Veronica

I JUST CAN'T HELP BELIEVIN'

Lead vocals by Jughead

KICKS

Lead vocals by Trevor

GLITTER AND GOLD

Duet vocals by Archie + Trevor

THINGS 2 COME

Ensemble vocal

YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN'**

Lead vocals by Veronica

HOME OF THE BRAVE

Lead vocals by Betty

MAKE YOUR OWN KIND OF MUSIC

Ensemble vocal

all selections written by 

Barry Mann + Cynthia Weil

except *co-written by Jerry Leiber + Mike Stoller

and **co-written by Phil Spector

Sixteen years later, The Archies will return to Italy at the invitation of RAI Television to appear on another 90-minute special; "Per Sempre Mann + Weil" is a gala tribute to the most successful songwriting team of the 20th century.  Although it will often be referred to as a starring vehicle for the group, it's actually a showcase for numerous acts from around the world; The Archies feature in just one segment and only sing four songs. No surprise that their performance will be the one everyone remembers!

HENRIETTA la del BARRIO

STYLES THE ARCHIES IN THE

YEAR 2028

Honorable mention must be given to Archie Radio, an Archie Americana production for the Republic Satellite Network. One hour specials aired twice a week for twelve weeks between September and November of 2013.  The Archies performed their hits live-in-studio and hosted guest stars including Josie + The Pussy Cats, Olguita + Reginald, Blue-Eyed Soul, Ralfi Chingas and Tony Briseño's Tejano Band.  Most of the performances were filmed but other than promotional clips, that footage will never be released.  By mid-century, it will be presumed lost! 

One year after the final broadcast, the sale of Archie Records to media conglomerate Republic International was announced; negotiations had begun while Archie Radio was still on the air! Opting not to cut masters for Republic's CEO, notorious corporate raider Jason Blossom, The Archies went on hiatus for what will turn out to be fifteen long years. They'll reform in the year 2027 to record an album for Atlantic Records, briefly go back on hiatus and then return in 2029 to make their last public appearances.  

STILLS TAKEN FROM FILMED ARCHIE RADIO SEGMENTS WILL APPEAR IN A PROMO FOR THE 2099 COMPILATION ARCHIE IN NEW ORLEANS

A blockbuster 2037 concert documentary will cement their icon status forever.  For their many fans around the world, the filmed images that The Archies leave behind will be just as essential as their body of recorded work.  That's altogether fitting, since most people first met them in cartoon form!

This special feature is dedicated to some great songwriters whose music proved powerful enough to preserve the sanity of a homeless writer/artist: God bless Ritchie Adams, Gene Allan, Jeff Barry, Carole Bayer-Sager, Bobby Bloom, Ron Dante, 

Ellie Greenwich, Mick Jagger, 

Andy Kim, Irwin Levine, Barry Mann, 

Keith Richards, Cynthia Weil 

and Toni Wine!