The Freaking Out of Geraldine Grundy (Part One)

POP CULTURE CANTINA PRESENTS

A CARTOONS + CASTANETS PRODUCTION:

The Freaking Out of

GERALDINE GRUNDY

PART ONE OF SIX:

HANDS OFF MISS GRUNDY!

PROLOGUE:

SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS, 

FIFTY YEARS FROM NOW . . .

AN APARTMENT LOFT IS THE SCENE OF A BIZARRE CEREMONY.  A DOZEN PARTICIPANTS STAND NAKED AMIDST FLAMING METAL POTS. THE DANCING FLAMES FILL THE SPACE WITH A PUNGENT INCENSE. THE CENTRAL FIGURE IS A BEARDED WHITE MAN WITH LONG BLONDE HAIR. A DRAGON FIGURINE WITH RED EYES LIKE BURNING COAL IS WOVEN INTO A BRAID THAT EXTENDS FROM THE TOP OF HIS HEAD DOWN HIS BACK.

THE MAN IS TOBIAS MAXWELL. THREE DECADES AGO, HE WAS A FAMOUS MUSICIAN, POPULARLY KNOWN AS TOBY MAXX. THOUGH LONG DEAD, HE HAS SOMEHOW BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE! YET THIS TOBIAS MAXWELL IS DIFFERENT FROM THE MAN HIS FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES KNEW LONG AGO:  SINISTER-LOOKING, WITH COLD EYES AND A CRUEL SMILE. HIS SLENDER BODY IS LITHE LIKE A CAT'S AND TENSED AS IF READY TO SPRING!  A CHUBBY YOUNG WHITE MAN KNEELS BEFORE HIM.  HIS GLASSY STARE REVEALS HE IS DEEP IN A TRANCE!  A GOLDEN BASIN SITS AT HIS KNEES.

A THIN, MULTI-COLORED CLOAK BARELY COVERS TOBIAS MAXWELL’S NAKEDNESS. FROM ITS FOLDS HE WITHDRAWS A RAZOR-SHARP BLADE. WITH A FLASHING MOVEMENT, HE DRAWS IT ACROSS THE YOUNG MAN’S THROAT!  TWO OF THE ASSEMBLAGE GRASP HIS SHOULDERS AND MANEUVER HIS SPURTING JUGULAR VEIN OVER THE BASIN.  HE BLEEDS TO DEATH, AND ONCE THE BASIN IS FULL TO THE BRIM, MAXWELL MOTIONS FOR THE DEAD BODY TO BE TAKEN OUT.

AFTER HIS MINIONS RETURN TO THE ROOM, HE BEGINS TO SPEAK IN A GUTTURAL LANGUAGE. HIS WORDS ARE A MIX OF LATIN, GREEK, HEBREW, CHINESE AND AN AFRICAN TONGUE TOO ANCIENT TO BE IDENTIFIED. THERE IS NARY A TRACE OF THE SWEDISH ACCENT HE WAS ONCE KNOWN FOR. TOBIAS MAXWELL POURS BLOOD FROM THE BASIN INTO A FLAME POT.  THE FIRE LEAPS HIGH!  AS BLACK SMOKE BILLOWS, HIS NUDE COMPANIONS BEGIN TO MOAN AND SWAY.

SUDDENLY, A HAZY BLUE ECTOPLASM APPEARS IN MID-AIR, SUSPENDED OVER THE ASSEMBLAGE. A DREADLOCKED WOMAN SEATED IN A CORNER BEGINS TO POUND A CONGA DRUM. FRENZIED DANCING BEGINS! AS THE DANCE BUILDS IN INTENSITY, THE ECTOPLASM ASSUMES THE FORM OF HUMAN FACES. THE FIRST IMAGE IS THAT OF SABRINA SPELLMAN. SHE IS A POWERFUL SORCERESS WHO HAS LONG BEEN MISSING FROM THE EARTHY REALM. HER LOVELY FACE IS FROZEN IN A SILENT SCREAM!

SECONDS LATER, HER FACE DISAPPEARS. OTHER FACES EMERGE FROM THE ECTOPLASM.  SOME SEEM FAMILIAR, BUT THEY PASS TOO RAPIDLY TO BE IDENTIFIED. FINALLY, THE POUNDING CONGA RHYTHM CEASES. TOBIAS MAXWELL BEGINS TO LAUGH MANIACALLY: AN INCONGRUOUS, ALMOST TINKLING WOMAN’S LAUGH! SMOKE AND FLAME SEEM TO ENGULF THE LOFT, AND THEN THERE IS TOTAL DARKNESS. 

THE ASSEMBLY HAS VANISHED INTO THIN AIR! THE MAKESHIFT VOODOO CHAMBER LIES BARE, COLD AND DUST-COVERED, AS IF IT HAD NOT BEEN OCCUPIED IN DECADES. EVEN THE BLOODSTAINS ON THE FLOOR ARE GONE . . .

JUNE PODCAST OF THE POP CULTURE CANTINA,

TEN YEARS FROM NOW . . .

BIENVENIDOS AMIGOS! WELCOME BACK TO THE CANTINA. SU CARNAL, DON SEÑORITO CARTOON HAS A NEW STORY TO SHARE WITH YOU. ESCÚCHAME BIEN . . . YOU’VE NEVER HEARD A TALE LIKE THIS! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ARCHIES, BUT IT REALLY ISN’T ABOUT THEM. IT TAKES PLACE DECADES IN THE PAST BUT ALSO IN THE PRESENT DAY! THE MUSIC I’M GOING TO PLAY FOR YOU WILL BE FAMILIAR, AND YET YOU’VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE! ¿COMPRÉNDEME?  NO?  IF YOU THINK YOU’RE CONFUSED NOW, JUST WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK.

I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH MY JEFA, LAURA PINTO. SHE’S THE POP CULTURE CANTINA'S FOUNDER, YOU KNOW. I KNEW THAT LAURA HAD BEEN A RECORD PRODUCER AND HAD ONCE CUT A SESSION WITH THE ARCHIES. I ASKED HER ABOUT THAT LONG-AGO RECORD DATE. I WAS TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR WHAT SHE TOLD ME:

“I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WORKED WITH THE REAL ARCHIES! NOT THOSE IMPOSTERS EVERYBODY THINKS ARE THEM. I PRODUCED THE MUSIC FOR A BRITISH TV SERIES THEY STARRED IN. THAT WAS BACK IN 1969. IT WAS THE FIRST BBC SERIES TO STAR NON-WHITE PERFORMERS. 

YES, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING: THE ARCHIES WERE PEOPLE OF COLOR!  MOSTLY LATINOS.  THEY WERE A GROUNDBREAKING ACT, BUT IT’S STRANGE HOW NOBODY REMEMBERS THEM! INSTEAD, ALL YOU HEAR ABOUT IS THIS OTHER GROUP, WITH ALL-WHITE MEMBERS. THEY EVEN CREDIT THAT GROUP WITH RECORDING THE HIT SONG “SUGAR, SUGAR”. IT BAFFLES ME, AND IT OUTRAGES ME, TOO!”

OF COURSE, MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR. LAURA CONTINUED: “I GOT TO KNOW THEIR MUSIC DIRECTOR, GERALDINE GRUNDY, QUITE WELL.” I INTERRUPTED: “MUSIC DIRECTOR?  WTF?  WASN’T MISS GRUNDY ARCHIE’S HIGH SCHOOL MUSIC TEACHER?’ THE BOSS LADY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I’D LOST MY MIND. “ON WHAT PLANET?” SHE WANTED TO KNOW. “GERALDINE GRUNDY WAS NEVER A SCHOOL TEACHER! SHE WAS A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN. SHE WROTE MOST OF THE ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE SONGS THE ARCHIES PERFORMED. DEANIE (THAT WAS WHAT SHE PREFERRED TO BE CALLED) TOLD ME ALL ABOUT THEM. SHE WAS SOMETHING OF A GOSSIP, AND I LEARNED QUITE A BIT FROM HER THAT WASN’T COMMON KNOWLEDGE . . . “

ARCHIE ANDREWS HAD BEEN A ROADIE FOR TOMMY JAMES AND THE SHONDELLS. IN 1967, HE QUIT IN ORDER TO FOLLOW IN TOMMY’S FOOTSTEPS AND BECOME A ROCK STAR. ARCHIE WAS BIRACIAL: A JEWISH FATHER, AND I BELIEVE HIS MOTHER WAS HAITIAN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. DEFINITELY CARIBBEAN!  HE QUIT THE SHONDELLS TOUR IN BOSTON AND HIRED ON AS A COOK AT THE BOSTON TEA PARTY. THAT WAS THE HOTTEST ROCK CLUB IN NEW ENGLAND AT THE TIME. REGGIE MANTLE WAS A BARTENDER AT THE TEA PARTY, AND BETTY COOPER WAS A WAITRESS THERE. THAT’S WHERE HE MET THEM.

BETTY’S MOTHER WAS FROM NIGERIA, AND HER DAD WAS ITALIAN-AMERICAN. SHE HAD AN HOURGLASS FIGURE AND THIS GORGEOUS STRAWBERRY-BLONDE HAIR THAT FELL NEARLY TO HER WAIST. BETTY LOVED COUNTRY MUSIC AND SANG AT THE HILLBILLY RANCH, BOSTON’S MAIN VENUE FOR COUNTRY. BLACK SINGERS WERE AND STILL ARE A RARITY IN THAT GENRE, BUT BETTY WAS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR ACTS THERE. AND SHE COULD DANCE AS WELL AS SHE SANG!  SHE WAS WORKING AS A WAITRESS TO FUND A MOVE TO HOLLYWOOD; SHE FIGURED IT WOULD BE EASIER TO LAUNCH A COUNTRY CAREER FROM THERE THAN FROM NASHVILLE.

REGGIE MANTLE WAS WHAT THEY USED TO CALL A “CHICK MAGNET”. HE WAS A TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME PUERTO RICAN GUY. HIS SWIMMER'S BODY AND MANE OF SHAGGY HAIR, WHICH HE DYED BLOND, DROVE GIRLS CRAZY! AND HE WAS A LATIN MUSICIAN, PROFICIENT ON SEVERAL INSTRUMENTS. REGGIE HAD A WOMANIZING REPUTATION, BUT ONLY DEANIE AND A HANDFUL OF OTHERS KNEW HIS SECRET: REG HAD BEEN BORN FEMALE! HE WAS A TRANSSEXUAL MAN BACK WHEN NOBODY UNDERSTOOD WHAT THAT WAS. DESPITE HIS POPULARITY WITH WOMEN, HE WAS PRIMARILY ATTRACTED TO MEN. DEANIE DIDN’T THINK HE’D EVER ACTUALLY BEEN WITH A WOMAN!

BUT I DIGRESS. BETTY INTRODUCED ARCHIE TO HER FRIEND VERONICA LODGE. RONI WAS ALSO HISPANIC . . . MEXICAN-AMERICAN . . . AND DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS! HAZEL EYES AND CHESTNUT HAIR.  SHE WAS ALSO RICH; HER FATHER WAS AN AIRLINE MAGNATE. RONI HAD BEEN AN UP-AND-COMING FASHION MODEL BUT SHE GOT BORED WITH PHOTO SESSIONS. SHE HAD A BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE, AND HER DAD PROMISED TO PULL STRINGS TO GET HER A RECORDING CONTRACT. AFTER MEETING ARCHIE, RONI CAME TO THE BOSTON TEA PARTY REGULARLY. THEY STARTED DATING, MUCH TO BETTY’S CHAGRIN!  AT THAT TIME, SHE FANCIED ARCHIE FOR HERSELF.

HOWEVER, THAT WAS BEFORE SHE MET FORTUNATO JONES: SIX FEET OF STRAPPING, MUSCULAR MANHOOD FROM THE PHILIPPINES! HIS NICKNAME WAS “JUGHEAD”. YES, I’VE HEARD THOSE RUMORS ABOUT IT BEING A DIRTY NAME. SUPPOSEDLY IT REFERRED TO PART OF HIS ANATOMY, BUT I’M SURE I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT! EVERYBODY CALLED HIM “JUGGY”. HE WAS HELPING HIS SISTER RUN A LITTLE SNACK SHOP IN CHINATOWN, AND HE ALSO PLAYED DRUMS IN A JAZZ BAND. JUG’S ULTIMATE AMBITION WAS TO OWN HIS OWN NIGHTCLUB.

HE AND ARCHIE BOTH BELONGED TO THE SAME ATHLETIC CLUB, AND THAT’S WHERE THEY MET. THEY GOT ACQUAINTED AFTER A GAME OF BASKETBALL AND STRUCK UP A FRIENDSHIP. AT ARCHIE’S INVITATION, JUGGY TAGGED ALONG TO THE TEA PARTY ONE NIGHT. HE AND BETTY HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY! SO THEY ALL BECAME FRIENDS, AND THEY WERE ALL MUSICALLY INCLINED. ARCHIE AND BETTY WERE THE MOST AMBITIOUS. WHEN JUGGY’S BAND BROKE UP, IT WAS THEIR IDEA TO FORM A NEW GROUP WITH HIM.

BETTY, VERONICA AND REGGIE ALL LAID DOWN CONDITIONS FOR JOINING. AS I TOLD YOU, BETTY WAS AN EXCELLENT DANCER! SHE WANTED TO BE OUT FRONT SO SHE COULD SHOW OFF HER FLASHY MOVES. RONI WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BETTY GETTING ALL THAT ATTENTION, SO HER CONDITION WAS TO BE THE PRIMARY FEMALE SINGER. REGGIE CAME FROM A MUSICAL FAMILY AND PLAYING ROCK ‘N’ ROLL APPEALED TO HIM; BUT HIS REAL AMBITION WAS TO BE A FASHION DESIGNER. HE JOINED THE GROUP ON THE PROMISE THAT HE’D DESIGN ALL THEIR STAGE COSTUMES. BECAUSE OF REG, THE ARCHIES BECAME THE SHARPEST-DRESSED BAND IN BOSTON!

HOW DID THEY DECIDE ON THAT NAME? DEANIE DIDN’T KNOW, BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT NEITHER RONI NOR REGGIE WAS HAPPY WITH IT! NAME NOTWITHSTANDING, JUGGY WAS LEAD SINGER AT THE BEGINNING.

VERONICA’S FATHER WAS RAMIRO LODGE, THE OWNER OF LODGE AIR. THAT COMPANY DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE, BUT BACK IN THE ‘60S IT WAS A MAJOR AIR CARRIER. MR. LODGE DOTED ON HIS DAUGHTER AND WAS WILLING TO PUT MONEY BEHIND ANYTHING SHE WANTED TO DO. HE RENTED REHEARSAL SPACE FOR THE ARCHIES IN CHELSEA, MASSACHUSETTS AND PURCHASED NEW INSTRUMENTS FOR THEM. ARCHIE PLAYED BETTER-THAN-AVERAGE GUITAR, AND AFTER YEARS OF PRIVATE LESSONS, RONI WAS QUITE COMPETENT ON KEYBOARDS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, BETTY THE DANCER HAD A GOOD SENSE OF RHYTHM. SHE TOOK UP THE TAMBOURINE. REGGIE’S MAIN INSTRUMENT WAS ELECTRIC BASS, AND OF COURSE, JUGGY MANNED THE DRUM KIT.

THEY WEREN’T VERY GOOD IN THE BEGINNING AND THEY ADMITTED AS MUCH TO ME. YET DEANIE SAID THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT THEIR SOUND. IT WAS A BLEND OF ALL THEIR INFLUENCES: COUNTRY (BETTY), SOUL (ARCHIE), LATIN (REGGIE), POP BALLADS (RONI) AND JAZZ (JUGHEAD). ARCHIE SUGGESTED THEY ALSO ADD BUBBLEGUM ROCK TO THE MIX.  THAT WAS THE SOUND CHAMPIONED BY HIS EX-BOSS, TOMMY JAMES.

IT WAS EARLY 1968 BEFORE THE ARCHIES FELT THEY SOUNDED GOOD ENOUGH TO AUDITION. THEY CHASED GIGS ALL OVER NEW ENGLAND AND PREDICTABLY, THEY WERE REJECTED OVER AND OVER! IT WASN’T JUST THAT THEY WERE STILL AMATEURS; NOBODY WANTED TO TAKE A CHANCE ON A “MIXED RACE” ROCK GROUP. ESPECIALLY NOT IN BOSTON, WHERE RACIAL TENSIONS WOULD SOON EXPLODE AROUND THE ISSUE OF SCHOOL INTEGRATION! BEFORE LONG, THE ARCHIES WERE SURVIVING ON NOTHING BUT DONATIONS FROM RAMIRO LODGE . . . AND HIS PATIENCE WAS RUNNING OUT!

Playlist:
THE ARCHIES LIVE @ POP TATE'S

THEN THE BAND AUDITIONED AT POP TATE’S, A ONCE-POPULAR JAZZ CLUB AND EATERY IN BROOKLINE.  DEANIE GRUNDY WAS IN THE HOUSE BAND THERE. TERRY “POP” TATE WAS OF INDIAN AND THAI HERITAGE, SO THE BAND’S RACIAL COMPOSITION DIDN’T FAZE HIM AT ALL. HOWEVER, THEIR ECLECTIC POP/ROCK SOUND DIDN'T IMPRESS HIM. "MY PATRONS WON'T DIG THAT,” HE TOLD THEM. “I'M LOOKING FOR A JAZZ FUSION BAND!” JUGGY INSISTED THEY COULD PLAY JAZZ.  THIS CLAIM WAS A SURPRISE TO THE REST OF THE BAND; BUT JUG REMINDED THEM ABOUT A SPECIAL NUMBER THEY'D BEEN REHEARSING.  POP’S EARS PERKED UP AT THEIR RENDITION OF GEORGIE FAME’S “YEH YEH” SONG WITH REGGIE ON LEAD. HE LOVED IT, AND SO DID DEANIE. SHE WAS THERE, AND WHEN THEY PASSED THE AUDITION SHE OFFERED TO WORK WITH THEM.

THE ARCHIES DID HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL, BUT IT TOOK TIME TO UNCOVER. DEANIE WAS A FINE ARRANGER AND JUST THE MUSICAL MENTOR THEY NEEDED. UNDER HER TUTELAGE, THEY DEVELOPED INTO A COMPETENT NIGHTCLUB ACT. THEY DIDN’T HAVE A FOLLOWING AT FIRST, BUT DEANIE AND POP TATE BELIEVED IN THEM! POP KEPT BOOKING THE ARCHIES, AND PATRONS STARTED DIGGING BOTH THEIR FUSION SOUND AND THEIR CLASSY LOOK. REGGIE HAD ALREADY BEGUN STYLING THEIR COSTUMES.

JUST THREE MONTHS AFTER THEIR DEBUT, THE ARCHIES WERE PACKING POP'S CLUB EVERY WEEKEND! SO ARCHIE HAD ACHIEVED HIS DREAM OF BECOMING A PERFORMER, BUT HE WASN’T HAPPY PLAYING JAZZ FUSION. HE STILL WANTED TO ROCK!  DEANIE GRUNDY TOLD ME SHE WAS ANXIOUS TO MOVE IN THAT DIRECTION, TOO.

A RUSSIAN IMMIGRANT NAMED DUKE MASON WAS A SILENT PARTNER IN POP TATE’S CLUB. KNOWN TO HIS FRIENDS AS BIG MOOSE, MASON WAS REPUTED TO HAVE MOB CONNECTIONS. DEANIE WAS CLEARLY AFRAID OF HIM!   SOME OF THE ACTS THAT APPEARED AT POP’S CUT SIDES FOR ROXY RECORDS; IT WAS AN INDIE LABEL THAT MASON OWNED. HE SAW HOW THE ARCHIES WERE DRAWING CROWDS AND DECIDED TO OFFER THEM A CONTRACT.  DEANIE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS UNTIL AFTER THE FACT.

ARCHIE WAS WARY!  HE DIDN’T WANT TO RECORD JAZZ; BUT WHEN DUKE INSISTED THAT HE WANTED MORE ROCK AND LESS JAZZ, IT WAS MUSIC TO HIS EARS!  ARCHIE CONVINCED HIS BANDMATES TO SIGN WITH ROXY. WELL, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW UPSET HE WAS WHEN MASON HAD THEM CUT A JAZZY DEBUT SINGLE!  IT WAS CALLED “LOVE IS LIVING IN YOU.”

THAT FIRST RECORDING SESSION WAS HELD AT TRIPLE-A STUDIOS IN BOSTON, BUT THE WRITER/PRODUCERS WERE TWO NEW YORKERS: PHIL CODY AND BOB LEVINE. DEANIE SAID THEY GOT ANGRY WHEN DUKE MASON DEMANDED ONE-THIRD OF THE WRITER’S CREDIT! CODY THREATENED TO PULL OUT OF THE SESSION, AND MASON RESPONDED WITH A VEILED THREAT OF HIS OWN. IT WAS A VERY TENSE RECORD DATE! THE MIXING SESSION A WEEK LATER WAS EVEN WORSE: MASON SHOWED UP WITH A ROWDY ENTOURAGE. HE WAS DRUNK, AND PROCEEDED TO BULLY AND INSULT EVERYONE IN THE STUDIO!

DEANIE HAD WRITTEN MUSIC CHARTS FOR THE RECORDING SESSION, AND SHE WAS PRESENT FOR THE MIXING, TOO. UNOFFICIALLY, DUKE MASON WAS POP TATE’S BOSS, BUT SHE HAD NEVER MET HIM BEFORE. SHE TOLD ME THAT, AFTER SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF, HE PAWED HER BREASTS AND TRIED TO REACH UNDER HER SKIRT! SHE SCREAMED, AND ARCHIE CAME RUNNING TO HER RESCUE. ENRAGED, HE DECKED MASON WITH A SOCK ON THE CHIN! CHAOS ENSUED: BELLOWING IN ANGER AND PAIN, THE RUSSIAN GANGSTER CLEARED THE STUDIO!

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE ROXY RECORD DEAL CAME TO AN ABRUPT END.  THAT WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT DUKE MASON REFUSED TO NULLIFY HIS CONTRACT WITH THE ARCHIES. THE GROUP FOUND ITSELF TRAPPED IN LEGAL LIMBO: HE WOULDN’T RECORD THEM, AND HE REFUSED TO LET THEM CUT SIDES FOR ANY OTHER LABEL! THAT INTENDED DEBUT SINGLE WOULDN’T BE RELEASED UNTIL EARLY 1972.

BETTY COOPER DECIDED TO ACT. MORE THAN ANYTHING, SHE WANTED A RECORDING CAREER AND SHE WASN’T ABOUT TO LET THIS SETBACK SLOW HER DOWN. ACCORDING TO DEANIE, BETTY WASN’T SHY ABOUT USING HER BODY TO GET AHEAD!  SHE KNEW ABOUT THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY'S VARIOUS CASTING COUCHES, AND DIDN'T MIND USING THEM TO HER ADVANTAGE. 

 SHE SET HER SIGHTS ON NICHOLAS FREUND, A FAMOUS ARTIST MANAGER.  HE WAS BISEXUAL, BUT HAD A WOMANIZING REPUTATION THAT WAS GENUINE!  ALSO BIRACIAL (AFRO-AMERICAN AND GERMAN-JEWISH), FREUND WAS ONE OF THE MORE SUCCESSFUL MUSIC INDUSTRY INSIDERS OF COLOR.  THROUGH A FRIEND OF A FRIEND, BETTY GOT HIS ADDRESS AND DECIDED TO GET HIS ATTENTION IN A DARING WAY! ONE EVENING, SHE CHARMED HER WAY INTO FREUND’S APARTMENT WHEN HE WASN’T THERE.  SHE WAITED FOR HIM TO RETURN, AND WHEN HE WALKED IN, SHE WAS STARK NAKED!

BETTY TOLD DEANIE THAT FREUND BARELY RAISED AN EYEBROW WHEN HE SAW HER RECLINING NUDE ON HIS SOFA. EVIDENTLY, THIS TACTIC HAD BEEN USED ON HIM BEFORE BUT BETTY WASN’T DISCOURAGED. SHE WAS CONFIDENT ABOUT THE EFFECT SHE HAD ON MEN!  TEASINGLY, SHE PICKED HER PANTIES UP AND TOSSED THEM AT HIS FEET. “GOOD EVENING, DADDY,” SHE COOED. “DON'T YOU JUST LOVE SURPRISES? I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING YOU WANT IF YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING I WANT.”

SHE TRIED HARD TO SEDUCE HIM, BUT NICHOLAS FREUND JUST LAUGHED OFF HER COME-ONS. ONCE SHE WAS THOROUGHLY EMBARRASSED AND FRUSTRATED, HE TOLD HER HE WAS TOO BUSY TO TAKE ON NEW CLIENTS. “BUT I DIG YOUR CHUTZPAH,” HE ADMITTED. “AND I HAPPEN TO KNOW BIG MOOSE PERSONALLY.  I’LL SEE IF I CAN DO SOMETHING FOR YOU.” BETTY WAS HUMILIATED WHEN FREUND THREW HER OUT OF HIS APARTMENT, BUT SHE KNEW SHE’D MADE PROGRESS.  “HE WANTED ME BAD, EVEN THOUGH HE PLAYED HARD-TO-GET,” SHE TOLD DEANIE. “I KNEW I’D BE SEEING HIM AGAIN.” THAT SECOND MEETING CAME SOONER RATHER THAN LATER!

NOT LONG AFTERWARD, FREUND CAUGHT THE ARCHIES’ ACT AT POP TATE’S. HE SAW THEIR POTENTIAL RIGHT AWAY. HE THEN CONTACTED A MUSIC INDUSTRY FRIEND, WALDO WEATHERBEE, AND SUGGESTED THAT HE CHECK THEM OUT, TOO. WEATHERBEE WAS ONCE A TOP A & R MAN, BUT AT THIS TIME HE WAS WORKING FOR A MAJOR SONG PUBLISHER. HE ASKED THE ARCHIES TO AUDITION FOR HIM AND LIKED WHAT HE SAW AND HEARD. ON THE STRENGTH OF WEATHERBEE’S RECOMMENDATION, HIS PUBLISHER GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO ARRANGE ANOTHER RECORDING CONTRACT.

OF COURSE, THERE WAS A MAJOR ROADBLOCK IN THE WAY! BUT NOW NICHOLAS FREUND WAS ON THE CASE. HE GOT BUSY MENDING FENCES WITH DUKE MASON. IT WASN’T EASY, BUT WALDO WEATHERBEE’S INVOLVEMENT GOT MASON’S ATTENTION. HE'D MATCHED ARTISTS LIKE NEIL SEDAKA, TONY ORLANDO AND STEVE + EYDIE WITH BIG HITS; WEATHERBEE WAS KNOWN IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY AS ”THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN EAR”!  LEARNING HOW EAGER HE WAS TO SIGN THE ARCHIES MADE MASON CHANGE HIS ATTITUDE. 

HE STILL WOULDN’T LET THE GROUP RECORD FOR ANYONE ELSE, BUT HE AND FREUND CUT A DEAL: ROXY RECORDS WOULD MANUFACTURE AND DISTRIBUTE A BRAND NEW LABEL. MASON WOULD LURE WALDO WEATHERBEE AWAY FROM HIS CURRENT JOB AND APPOINT HIM PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY. WEATHERBEE’S LABEL WOULD MARKET THE ARCHIES’ RECORDINGS. IN RETURN FOR HIS INVESTMENT, DUKE MASON GOT SONG PUBLISHING RIGHTS AS WELL AS CONTROL OF THE ARCHIES’ MANAGEMENT!

NATURALLY, THE GROUP HATED THESE TERMS! THEY INITIALLY REJECTED THE DEAL, BUT NICHOLAS FREUND WAS BLUNT WITH THEM: DUKE MASON WAS THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN AS FAR AS THEY WERE CONCERNED!  DEANIE GRUNDY WAS IN THE ROOM AND HEARD EVERYTHING HE TOLD THEM: “NO RECORD LABEL IN THE COUNTRY WILL SIGN YOU AS LONG AS YOU’RE ROXY ARTISTS! MOST A & R MEN AREN’T CLAMORING FOR INTER-RACIAL ROCK GROUPS, EITHER; BUT BIG MOOSE STILL BELIEVES IN YOUR TALENT, AND HE’S WILLING TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.”

BETTY FELT SMUG WHEN FREUND ANNOUNCED THAT HE’D BE THE ARCHIES’ MANAGER. HE NEVER ADMITTED THAT SHE WAS THE ONE WHO’D SECURED HIS SERVICES, BUT THE DEAL SHE’D PROPOSED IN HIS APARTMENT WAS DEFINITELY, SHALL WE SAY . . . CLINCHED? THERE WAS A STRONG MUTUAL ATTRACTION, AND DESPITE HER INTEREST IN JUGGY, BETTY LET HERSELF BE DRAWN INTO A FLING.  FREUND TOLD HER HIS NICKNAME WAS “BIG NIPSY” AND SHE FOUND OUT EXACTLY WHY . . . NO, I WON'T GO INTO DETAILS!  BUT IT SOON BECAME CLEAR TO HER THAT HE WASN’T JUST FRIENDS WITH DUKE MASON: HE WORKED FOR HIM. ACCORDING TO DEANIE, BETTY BROKE OFF THE AFFAIR WHEN BIG NIPSY SUGGESTED A THREE-WAY WITH THAT GANGSTER!

CLICK BELOW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

"THE FREAKING OUT OF GERALDINE GRUNDY” 

CONTINUES WITH PART TWO:
BETTY COOPER COMES FACE-TO-FACE 
WITH DEATH IN . . .
DEANIE, GET YOUR YO-YO!